Thank you for liberating me from the oppressive task of having to take out the trash every week. I so much prefer throwing all of my garbage in a pile in the back yard. Although I don’t know what the neighbors think.
I wish I’d known that you needed another trash can. As a single male living alone, I rarely fill up my trash can, and you would have been welcome to throw in a bag or two a week.
I’ll admit, however, that I’m a little surprised that you chose to steal my can, given that you can get another of your own from the city for what amounts to free. What’s the added value to you?
Or is it, perhaps, that there’s a substantial, hidden secondary market for stolen City of Los Angeles trash cans? People around the city who are desperate, desperate for another free trash can that they can get from the city just by calling, except from an illicit source? Are there thousands of bored urbanites itching for the thrill of owning an illicit trash can? A husband getting his secret thrill behind the back of a wife who made him give up his Harley? A wife whose husband made her stop popping pills and going out with the girls so now she has the hot trash can out back for the rush?
I don’t buy it. But I guess someone else did! If you see a business model here, you’re a better man than I. Also, if you know of an unsecured dumpster near my apartment that I can take all of the trash to well, you’re a better man than I again and please will you tell me where it is?