We got to see two countries. Both were pretty cool! But which should I go back to (or, maybe, go back to first)? Let’s figure this out for once and for all with this one-on-one deathmatch between these two South American countries.
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_=|Factor|Chile|Brazil|Winner|Comment|
^|Beverage (Alcoholic)|Pisco Sour |Caipirinha |!/images/prime/brazil.gif! |Pisco sours taste like lemonade and include raw eggs; Caipirinhas include all sorts of fruit (although bad ones can taste like industrial solvent) |
^|Beverage (Non-Alcoholic)|None |Guaraná |!/images/prime/brazil.gif! |By default; Guaraná is also awfully tasty |
^|Beggars |Speak pretty good English |Mostly scam artists instead (also speak pretty good English) |!/images/prime/chile.gif! |Beggars are good for conversation |
^|Buses |Dirty; will run you over if you cross the street in front of their right turn |Known for armed robberies on the buses |!/images/prime/chile.gif! |Depends if you’re walking or riding|
^|Cabs |Aggressive drivers |Ultra-aggressive drivers |!/images/prime/brazil.gif! |As long as you’re taking your life in your hands, it might as well be exciting! |
^|Coffee |Absolutely awful; mostly Nescafé |Strong, thick, deep, slightly burnt-tasting |!/images/prime/brazil.gif! |Mmm strong, deep coffee served in small cups |
^|Crime |None notable |Torture/murder/dismemberment; gun battles on freeway |!/images/prime/chile.gif! |Boring but safer |
^|Food (Fast) |None |Habib’s |!/images/prime/chile.gif! |Gave all of us intestinal distress; anything is better (R$0.35 Bib’sFihas are a great deal, tho…) |
^|Food (Gourmet) |Thoroughly-grilled meat; thoroughly-grilled fish; thoroughly-fried fish |Various properly-grilled meats and sausages; highly-spiced fish dishes; pizzas; carne seca |!/images/prime/brazil.gif! |Carne seca alone wins it; incredible sausage is a strong back-up |
^|Juices |Good fresh juices |Açai and Acerola and Maracuja, oh my! |!/images/prime/brazil.gif! |Açai alone wins it |
^|Maids |Enter room at 7:15 am to check on mini-bar; when told “later”, return in 15 minutes; enter at 7:40am the next day despite the “Do Not Disturb” sign |Smile and seem to appreciate my five words of Portuguese |!/images/prime/brazil.gif! |Easy winner |
^|Restrooms (Public) |Pay, but well-maintained |Very few public, mostly at tourist destinations; free and clean, but often stall door locks are broken, rarely have hot water in sinks |!/images/prime/chile.gif! |150 pesos, at an exchange rate of 650/$1, is a very fair price for a clean restroom (but remember to take a handful of toilet paper when you enter!) |
^|Restrooms (Private) |Clean, often have seat protectors; no toilet paper, grab a handful as you enter |Clean, equipped with toilet paper, rarely have hot water in sinks |!/images/prime/brazil.gif! |Shouldn’t have to remember toilet paper, but hand-washing seems somehow ineffective |
^|TV Shows (Dubbed) |Los Simpson |The Flintstones |!/images/prime/chile.gif! |Being current is a good thing! Also, the puns don’t work in Portuguese |
^|TV Shows (Native) |Novelas |Cow auctions |!/images/prime/brazil.gif! |Those are some good-looking and cheap cows! |
^|Water |Potable |Potable |Tie |Either way, surprisingly enough, beats Mexico! |
What’s the verdict? Brazil, 9-6. Take me to São Paulo and Rio, baby!
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