The dog was acting quite proud earlier today. Since he had recently barked at some people walking past the house, I thought nothing of it; but then I noticed the empty bag of onions on the floor next to him. The bag of onions that, last I checked it, held a rather sizeable red onion. And the dog, looking so proud, seated right next to the empty bag.
The onion is not on the kitchen floor. It’s not on the living room floor — not even under the sofas. It’s not next to the dog’s bowl, and he didn’t put it near the birdcage, you know, to frame the parrot. I didn’t check the backyard but let’s face it that onion doesn’t need to be dug up twice. He can’t have moved it far; his breath smells like angels, not like onions from holding the big bulb between his teeth as he carried it. For the same reason, and, perhaps, because the genus _canis_ is more compelled by meat than by vegetables, I think we can theorize that the dog did not eat it.
So, internet, where did that dog hide that onion?