Published Jun 19, 2003

I just watched most of Alien: Resurrection for the first time. And, frankly, it occurred to me, as I was watching the movie and as my bird was sitting in my lap and mumbling and making kissy noises, that Junior looks like nothing so much as an Alien.

Think about it: the outsize hands, the head elongated behind the neck (in this case it’s a crest, but, hey, it looks like a head), the hissing, the proboscis within the mouth (second mouth/prehensile tongue) — it all fits. Aliens attach themselves to your face and then burst out your stomach; Junior latches on and cuddles and leaves white dust all over you. Aliens have acid blood; Junior has poo and will be happy to throw up for you while you’re at it. Aliens like to crawl around on the ceiling; Junior climbs upside-down on the roof of his cage. People fear being eaten by aliens; my girlfriend is scared of Junior’s screams.

Yes, I’m harboring an Alien in my bedroom. I shan’t sleep well tonight!