Juniorbird.com

Oh maaaan, I had the wildest spring break. I went craaaazy, all out, no holds barred, put it all on the line. That’s right, my spring break was oooooouuuuuuut of control! Yeah, like a major playa, I stayed home and worked on research and planning for my new business, that’s hardcore, dude.
I hung out at one of the finest, most blinged-out properties in Los Angeles. It was over the top at this spot, built like you’d never believe, all the amenities I expected, right in the middle of the hottest part of town — Palms. Westsiiiide, yo!
!/images/mbasgonewild/finestvenues.jpg!
While I was in my fine-ass digs, I enjoyed the finest entertainment in the whole city, every star and all of Hollywood’s finest output was at my fingertips. Like my own personal Oscars, yo, no shortage of hottt screen beauties to check outt all day long!
!/images/mbasgonewild/fineentertainment.jpg!
And hey between those hip joints I was all about the craziest new sheeit on the compizzy. Those other fools got their X-Box 360 but I pwn this out-of-control non-stop action, all the research and business plan writing and fool shit like that, ain’t no-one got the moves to get up on me there:
!/images/mbasgonewild/excitingactivities.jpg!
Oh but it wasn’t all the indoor fun, I got that hot So Cal sunshine too, nothing but these out of control crazy-ass ganged-out dangerous as SHIT urban environment:
!/images/mbasgonewild/urbanenvironment.jpg!
Dude this place is a crazy trip, all these signs and things that you just don’t get anywhere else. It blew my mind, yo, a mind-scrambling spring break voyage.
!/images/mbasgonewild/exoticsigns.jpg!
Yeah boy we got our badass views here, one-of-a-kind in the whole freakin world, yo! This was dope, nothin’ I’ll ever get nowhere else!
!/images/mbasgonewild/exoticvistas.jpg!
!/images/mbasgonewild/localsights.jpg!
And you know I’m all about the foods. The best vittles and the finest hos, that’s what I’m down with, that’s how I roll. Nothing but the best on this spring break, check it out:
!/images/mbasgonewild/finestcuisine.jpg!
Yeah this spring break was off da heezy, fo sheezy. If you want to go out of control like me next year, you gots to grab my digits and let me know next year if you’re down with makin’ it crazy, off the hook next year too, we can all blow our minds together.

Have a brilliant idea that will shake the world of business to its very core? Here’s a “quick and dirty way”:http://wadearmstrong.com/archives/business/quick_dirty_step1.php to figure out if you should kill any more neurons thinking so hard about it.

If you’re interested in classifying yourself — and goodness knows, I classify everything so such an exercise certainly appeals to me — a good place to start might be the “Myers-Briggs Type Indicator”:http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm, a scientifically un-validated test that classifies everyone into one of 16 groups with four-letter names. I’m an INTJ; every time I’ve taken the MBTI — whether a fake version online I found in college or the real, authorized one I took in b-school or the several in between — I’ve come out an INTJ. But I took this other test for a class, the “IPIP-NEO”:http://www.personal.psu.edu/faculty/j/5/j5j/IPIP/, and, well, the overlap between the two makes it clear that I’m in that little box formerly labeled “Misanthrope”:http://www.biercephile.com/.
Now, if you’re as compulsive a categorizer as I, then you’ve already taken those two tests linked above, gotten your results, and taken some time to understand them. If, however, you’re reading this blog voluntarily, you’re probably bored and wishing I’d get on with making sense already. So, for the benefit of those who haven’t read their classification explanations, an INTJ is:
* An Introvert, meaning I am energized by being alone, that being around others saps my energy, and that I enjoy spending time with my own thoughts. Which, frankly, explains why I put them down here rather than inviting you all over for dinner, then holding forth.
* An Intuiter, meaning that I noodle on everything and, by doing so, understand everything, rather than having to physically experience everything.
* A Thinker, meaning that I like to put ideas and impressions together with logic, rather than with emotions.
* A Judger, meaning not that I’m judgemental but rather that I prefer to be systematic in my thinking and in my life progression.
All the above is probably obvious to anybody who’s spent more than about 20 minutes with me. But, when you take the above definition in tandem with my IPIP-NEO result, well, you can narrow down the possiblities quite a bit.
The IPIP-NEO classifies the subject on five “domains”, each with several sub-scales. On each sub-scale and each domain, the subject is rated on a scale of 1-100, with 50 being “average” for people from the relevant culture and age group, and 0 being low and 100 high. I got:
* 43 on Extraversion, which is close to normal but please note the _3_ on the Friendliness sub-scale. I hope that, as the description says, “an introvert who scores high on the agreeableness dimension will not seek others out but will be quite pleasant when approached” will turn out to be true!
* 60 on Agreeableness, which makes me happy, except for the 18 on the Modesty sub-scale and the 29 on the Morality sub-scale, which, from the definition, should really be called Bluntness as it measures only propensity to speak diplomatically, at which I am surprisingly good.
* 36 on Conscientiousness, with a stunning 0 on the Dutifulness and 9 on Self-Discipline sub-scales — OK, we all knew I had a problem with authority and that maybe I need to shape up some — but at least the 91 on the Achievement-Striving sub-scale is predictable.
* 80 on Neuroticism, which frankly I think is low for a Jew. 89 on the Self-Consciousness sub-scale, 81 on Anxiety, and 86 on Depression were all predictable, but I’m happy to see that I scored only 35 on Anger. Really, I think the Depression scale is exaggerated, as I’m good at finding the sunshine after allowing myself a bit of rain from time to time.
* 77 on Openness to Experience, with an 89 on the Imagination sub-scale and 87 on Liberalism.
So what does this all tell us? Well, put it together and I’m an introverted, unfriendly, perhaps approachable, logical intellecutal who is somewhat messy and maybe doesn’t follow through (or maybe is a perfectionist) and who worries all the time, especially when trying new things. Alone. That’s a pretty accurate box to put ‘ol me in, and I offer it as a convenience to you all out there, my beloved readers.

I am a rock star.
I can make any project rock.
I bring the atmosphere of rocking with me.
The projects I work on rock because I am there.
The teams I work with rock because I am on them.
In fact, often the teams I work with rock beacuse I lead them actively. And they dig it too.
My rockin’ motion turns around projects that are stuck.
The way in which I rock brings focus to the scattered ideas of the dysfunctional teams.
Unlike Lyndon Johnson, I _can_ turn chicken shit into chicken salad.
I am a rock star.
I can take this situation and turn a cacophony into a Top 40 hit.
I can use my tools and my skills and my smarts to make others rock too.
This project will now rock, from this moment forward.
We will all be rock stars.
I am a rock star.
I will be a rock star.

In 99 days, I’ll actually be an MBA. Seems far off; seems like I’ve been in school forever. Being in the real world will be a bit of a shock!

I’m sitting in the courtyard of the business school right now, and an enormous smell of marijuana just descended over the place. About two dozen formerly hard-working MBA candidates looked up from their work, started peering around, started checking each others’ hands for traces of smoking materials, and even walked around following the smell. The verdict? Some passing homie, I guess (we are in South-Central).

Why not spend it in a way that gives to a charity? Even better, why not spend it in a way that gives to a charity that I support and in a way that makes me look good?
I’m a board member of “Challenge for Charity”:http://www.marshall.usc.edu/Clubs/C4C.cfm?doc_id=6908 at Marshall, a coalition of business school students raising money in a super-competitive manner (we’re b-school students after all) for Special Olympics. We’ve set things up so that you can spend your money in the usual way and give to Special Olympics as well! Just use “this link to shop at Amazon”:http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect-home/uscchallengfo-20 or e-mail your Albertson’s and/or Ralph’s Preferred Card numbers, first and last name, and the address and phone number associated with the card, and I’ll set things up so that 5% of your total shopping goes to Challenge for Charity. Please note that no C4C staff is paid and there is no overhead; all of the money goes straight to Special Olympics. Thanks!

Did you know that less than 2% of the people who die in hospitals are autopsied? That the autopsy rate has been dropping for the last 40 years? That all of this could somehow end up making somebody money? Me neither! But that’s who we met in class today, East LA’s own Vidal Herrera, former CSI, autopsy tech, and founder of 1-800-Autopsy.
Vidal’s story is inspiring. He was born in East LA and grew up in hard circumstances, working all through junior high and high school. He learned to work hard, but had trouble with school, and dropped out briefly before returning to finisn High School. Because two of his family members were killed in Vietnam, he wasn’t drafted when he turned old enough in 1969. Instead, he was headed to UCLA to play football when he was injured in a munitions factory accident in Vernon; UCLA took away his scholarship. He started college elsewhere, but needed money to get along; he found it helping out in the county morgue, where he learned to conduct autopsies.
Working hard, Vidal was able to turn this experience into a job as a CSI. He worked happily at this until 1984 when, turning the body of a large woman who had committed suicide, he hurt his back. Doctors told him he’d probably never walk again, and he was confined to a wheelchair for four years. Disability paid him, sure, but he wanted to work; unfortunately, nobody would hire a man who couldn’t walk or stand for more than 15 minutes. But he found a job teaching first-year residents how to do an autopsy; he’d sit in a chair and have them do all the work.
Soon, he found that he could use a small stool, or even a 2-gallon milk jug, to support his chest as he worked at his second job, cleaning up crime scenes. Soon, he was working at other hospitals, too, and was getting referrals from funeral directors.
But people saw his East LA address and ran away, so Vidal got himself a PO Box in Brentwood and called it a “suite.” Then he read in Forbes about how 800 numbers were the next big thing so he picked up 1-800-Autopsy. Then he thought, hey, what good is a number if nobody knows it? So he bought a van and painted his 800 number on the side, and within 30 minutes an LA Times reporter had called him.
Vidal’s business was growing, but he got close to UCLA again — always a mistake — and was caught up in the cadaver theft scandal there. While he was in fact one of those to initially discover and report the thefts, it was a time filled with accusations, and it took Herrera four years to clear himself. During that time he had to put off plans to franchise his company, but he came back with a plan to move into a large location in the city of Tujunga. After years of a complex build-out, and just weeks from opening, Tujunga pulled his building permit and he was unable to use the space for autopsies. All appeared lost, until a rock band asked him to use the space as a set for a music video. Then he found how much TV and movies needed a full-dressed morgue set, and started renting out his space; it’s now used in all sorts of top TV shows. This turned into “morgueproprentals”:http://morgueproprentals.com and is quite successful.
Vidal has received offers of up to $24 million for his company, but he refuses to sell, because he feels it’s so important for him to be an example within the Latino community of a hard-working success. And, also, because he loves what he does and, as he said, “very early on in life I learned one rule, fuck ‘em all, you have to do what you want to do.”
However, this took Vidal away from his main focus, autopsies. Vidal now has three techs and six doctors, and rarely assists with autopsies himself. He’s looking into franchising again, but his biggest hope is to graduate from college while his mother’s still around.
Oh, and he just started 1-800-Tamales, a company which sends tamales packaged in miniature coffins as Christmas gifts for funeral directors, doctors, and lawyers. They come packaged with candies shaped like body parts. So, now, if you’re looking for a gift that stands out, you know where to go!

Life is a series of lessons, often painful and traumatic. It’s at times like these that we need to write down the lessons we learn so that we don’t have to undergo these trials again. Simple, clear lessons can often be distilled from life’s most awful experiences, and set down, for review as we all strive and grow.
Of course, sometimes those lessons come from alcohol, friends, and excessively loud music. Then they’re just fun. Here’s what I learned at the Marshall Halloween party.
20. I can find your name, on one of four lists covering more than 400 people, in just minutes.
19. 1-piece costumes = no bathroom breaks.
18. Man + suit + box + bow = “God’s Gift to Women.”
17. In style: vaguely bondage-ish leatherish outfits. Not in style: bringing you non-MBA-student partner to Marshall parties.
16. Many women will promise to be pirates, but most will, in fact, come as faeries.
15. Business school students will wait in a calm and orderly line outside in the cold, without complaining, until the club gets under capacity.
14. The ad-hoc Devil Costume Union will be incapable of organized action.
13. Asian girls make great Naughty Cops, apparently.
12. Being blasted makes you a better MC, Kim.
11. Not a costume: All the alcohol on the back bar. No matter how much you flash us your panties.
10. Brazilians disappear immediately.
9. If you lose your “Fantanas”:http://fanta.com/index2.jsp, there will be a complete extra set for your convenience. However, one may be male (although he will have the best legs of them all).
8. There is no 8.
7. There will be plenty of Marilyn Monroes, including an Asian one and two men.
6. “Dorothy and Vance”:http://vmac.smugmug.com are exactly Margot and Richie Tenenbaum.
5. If you dress as a stripper pole, women you don’t know will dance on you.
4. Orange hair makes anyone look great.
3. If you’re hot and blonde, “Fantasy Football” is a costume.
2. Only gay boys know recognize Donnie Darko on sight.
1. I need to get out more!