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The final challenge in having your wedding is… having your wedding. You’ve got guests, a venue, and you’re spending your money where it counts, but will the day go off right? It will if you follow the lesson I got from my wife, DJ L’il Bit, and plan the day of the wedding and the day before out in excruciating detail. If you’re in the entertainment industry, you know the trick: you need to make a call sheet for your wedding.

What’s a call sheet? It’s a very detailed, hour-by-hour list of who does what when. That sounds simple, and the good thing is that this call sheet is a pretty simple tool; it’s only the level of detail you expect that is complicated. Your call sheet should include what every key wedding guest is doing — the bridal party, of course, but also the DJ, emcee, the parents of the future spouses, caterer etc. Make sure you’ve taken care of things like:

• Flowers
• Food, especially the food you’ll eat before the ceremony starts (you need to have food, otherwise you’ll get drunk and pass out and miss the whole shebang)
• Transportation and how people get places
• The order in which people walk down the aisle
• When the booze starts flowing

Go moment-by-moment in writing this call sheet. Mine started on Monday — the wedding was Saturday! — had eight tasks on Wednesday, four on Thursday, and 42 for the day of, all arranged hour-by-hour (even more precisely for the day of). You’ll have enough to worry about as you get down to the wire, don’t make yourself worry about where you’re getting lunch or what time you’re going to the barber for the shave… figure it out ahead of time.

And, of course, putting this all together means that you have to have talked to the key vendors and gotten onto the same page with them. Writing the call list forces you to do that, which can be an easy thing to forget. While the vendors may or may not want a call list — our DJs liked ours — the wedding party and parents should all get a copy. That way, nobody will call and ask you questions the day of the wedding. Because it’s all about making it all come off perfect, and you will not be a useful part of that on your big day; you’ll be worried and anxious and thrilled and ecstatic. Enjoy that feeling, not keeping the event running.

Having invited your guests and secured your venue, you’ve now… got an empty place that will soon be filled with people expecting to be entertained by a demonstration of your love. Between the DJ and the photographer and the flowers and the cake, this can be a very, very expensive part of your wedding. Now, you can’t cut back everywhere, so you need to focus on the things that you want the most, and really cut the rest down to the bone.

Whatever your future in-laws say to you, this day is really about you. What matters to you in the memories that you’ll have? Some people want the best cake, others the most beautiful photographs, so spend your money on those.

A great example is the flowers at our wedding: we spent under $20 total for a red rose for the bride and the maid of honor, and for rose petals to scatter about the table:

It didn’t just turn out lovely: it turned out good enough. What are your low-priority items? How can you cut them back and make them just good enough?

OK, now that you invited everyone — actually, before you invited everyone, but, hey, it made more narrative sense this way — you’ve got to get a venue. (Seriously, get the venue first, folks.) Our experience was clear: get one place that can handle as much as possible for you, it’ll save money.

This actually came as quite the shock to both of us. I know I for one had expected to be shopping around town for the cheapest flatware and cheapest tablecloths and wondering how I was going to get the cheap tables and chairs delivered. Nope. All of those little details add up quickly; we actually got noticeably better prices by going with venues that could provide everything from the space to the tables to the food itself.

Make sure to actually go through all the details of what you need and confirm that you’re getting everything:

• Flatware & silverware
• Tablecloths & napkins
• Any seating you need
• Serving items
• Salt & pepper
• Any glasses you need
• Specifics of whatever water, wine, etc. you’re pouring, especially at meals, where they’ll try to cheap out
• A table to put your gifts on

It may help to draw out a picture of what your set-up should look like. Another advantage of going with a venue to provide everything is that, if you remember something at the last minute, they’re likely to have it for you, rather than you having to track it down the day of or the day before your wedding.

Also, make sure you’re clear about who will be providing things like:

• Seating cards & charts
• Signage to direct your guests
• Menu cards, drink signage, etc.

Wherever you’re getting all your stuff, know how you get it in place on the day of. Will you need someone there to receive an item? When can items be delivered? Stuff will have to happen day of, don’t get surprised, and do rely on your closest friends and your wedding party to take care of it (no matter how late your ceremony is, you’ll be out of commission the whole day).

That’s an important point: think about the whole experience of your wedding. What you want most is the day itself to be worry-free, but don’t underestimate the number of things you’ll need to do during the days leading up to the event too. The more you can outsource, or otherwise have handled without too much commitment of your time, the better. You’ll appreciate it, your future spouse will appreciate it, and the family and friends who are excited to see you will appreciate it.

I have a lot of friends getting married this year, which is pretty awesome. Now, the wife, DJ L’il Bit, and I planned two weddings in 14 weeks — we each were in charge of one — so I’d be happy to give you some advice on yours. Don’t worry, our weddings went really, really well, and were cheap too, so this’ll be pretty painless.

Part the first here is the invite list. Make two lists, your A and B list. In the A list, put everyone who must be there — the very best friends, the family you need to have, people like that. Your goal is to progressively invite more and more people until the venue is full, but never put yourself in the position of having to un-invite somebody because you ran out of room.

In furtherance of this goal, only send out save-the-dates to the A list. We learned this tip the hard way, almost having to un-invite a dozen people when there was a seating hiccup at one of our weddings. (Fortunately, they figured out a way to fit everyone.)

Save money on save-the-dates by grabbing a little clip art, a fancy font, some colored paper, and making everything in Word. Everybody under 45 will just put the event in the Blackberry or iPhone and throw out what you send them, anyway, while everybody over 45 on your list would treasure it even if it were scribbled on the back of an envelope. We did this and ended up spending less on all of our save-the-dates, including postage, than most people do on just their envelopes.

Then, go ahead and invite your A list. When the seating’s finalized, go ahead and invite the B list. You do need to push your venue on seating, when we asked our venue how many they could fit they gave me one number, but when we came back and asked when they’d last fit that many people, they came up with a lower capacity number. If there’s any ambiguity, get the dimensions of the tables and go over there with a tape measure. (We did that for a venue we were so close to using that we actually had the contract in hand… and we couldn’t fit everyone. So make sure to do it yourself!)

While you’re on that list, make sure to specify who gets a +1 and who doesn’t. Don’t forget the +1s in your count! Also, don’t forget:

• You and your future spouse
• The bridal party
• The officiant
• Having a good time!!!

That’s right, what with all of these details, make sure to have as much of a good time! It’s your wedding! Par-tay! And, also, compared to what you’ve got coming, this is small fry.