« Archives in December, 2004

Indian Ocen Earthquake And Tsunami: Help Out This Christmas Season

Much like my country, I’ve been enjoying my vacation, relaxedly resting “stingy”:http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?pagename=JPost/JPArticle/ShowFull&cid=1104291020957 in my posting. But the coverage of the “Indian Ocean earthquake and tsunami”:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2004_Indian_Ocean_earthquake on “the French TV station”:http://www.tv5.org/TV5Site/programmes/accueil_continent.php in my hotel are compelling and shocking.
The “latest reports”:http://asia.news.yahoo.com/041229/afp/041229000739int.html suggest that the death toll will pass 100,000. That’s 100,000 dead in minutes or hours. To put that number in perspective:
* In the 20 years of the Vietnam War, “about 58,000 Americans were killed”:http://www.archives.gov/research_room/research_topics/vietnam_war_casualty_lists/statistics.html#year
* The battle of Antietam is often called the bloodiest day on American soil. “26,000 died”:http://www.civilwarhome.com/Battles.htm.
* In the bloody, chaotic battle at the beginning of “Saving Private Ryan”:http://imdb.com/title/tt0120815/, D-Day, 10,000 “American and British soldiers were killed and wounded”:http://www.ddaymuseum.co.uk/faq.htm.
* In the largest battle of World War II, “the Battle of Kursk”:http://www.themilitarybookreview.com/html/Kursk1943.shtml between the Germans and Russians in 1943, 56,000 Germans were killed and wounded.
* 66,000 were killed when the atom bomb was “dropped on Hiroshima”:http://www.yale.edu/lawweb/avalon/abomb/mp10.htm
The quake and tsunami were devastating on other measures too:
* Islands were “moved”:http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml;jsessionid=IESG1YFI1NHI2CRBAELCFFA?type=scienceNews&storyID=7194479
* The Earth began to “spin faster and wobble”:http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml;jsessionid=IESG1YFI1NHI2CRBAELCFFA?type=scienceNews&storyID=7195443
This disaster has fallen on “some of those who are least able to help themselves”:http://www.clarkefoundation.org/#122704. The nations of the world are “stepping”:http://www.nytimes.com/2004/12/29/international/worldspecial4/29cnd-prex.html?oref=login “up”:http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2004-12-29-tsunami-usat_x.htm. This holiday season, let’s all give to help the victims of this disaster. “Click here to donate to Doctors Without Borders”:http://www.kintera.org/atf/cf/%7BA54B526F-06CB-4D53-8A37-C33976730CAB%7D/dwb.htm.















Dear Person Who Stole My Trash Can

Thank you for liberating me from the oppressive task of having to take out the trash every week. I so much prefer throwing all of my garbage in a pile in the back yard. Although I don’t know what the neighbors think.
I wish I’d known that you needed another trash can. As a single male living alone, I rarely fill up my trash can, and you would have been welcome to throw in a bag or two a week.
I’ll admit, however, that I’m a little surprised that you chose to steal my can, given that you can get another of your own from the city for what amounts to free. What’s the added value to you?
Or is it, perhaps, that there’s a substantial, hidden secondary market for stolen City of Los Angeles trash cans? People around the city who are desperate, desperate for another free trash can that they can get from the city just by calling, except from an illicit source? Are there thousands of bored urbanites itching for the thrill of owning an illicit trash can? A husband getting his secret thrill behind the back of a wife who made him give up his Harley? A wife whose husband made her stop popping pills and going out with the girls so now she has the hot trash can out back for the rush?
I don’t buy it. But I guess someone else did! If you see a business model here, you’re a better man than I. Also, if you know of an unsecured dumpster near my apartment that I can take all of the trash to well, you’re a better man than I again and please will you tell me where it is?















It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

With those holiday greetings and gay happy meetings when friends come to call, it’s the “hap-happiest season of all”:http://www.chebucto.ns.ca/~av359/xmas/carols/wond.html! Yes, that’s right, there’s holiday music blaring from the speakers of all of the stores and malls out there and I love it. I wish July could be like this.
I realize this is an unpopular position to take, but, darn it, I think that holiday music is one of the very best things in life. What else is so happy, so full of hope, so expectant of a wonderful future? What else is so generically nostalgic, so reminiscent of youth?
At this very moment, they’re playing “O Christmas Tree” (or “Maryland, My Maryland”:http://www.mdarchives.state.md.us/msa/mdmanual/01glance/html/symbols/lyrics.html) on Monday Night Football. I’m beaming.
I think my love for holiday music started in elementary school. I’m an awful singer, but, in the annual Christmas Sing, I could belt it out and have my complete inability to hit any note at all masked by the golden-throated youngsters by my side. Who wouldn’t like an opportunity to, for once, sing sing sing?
Then, as I grew older, my rebellious instincts grew. I liked being different, dammit, and I still do. And, since everybody hates Christmas songs, I grew to love them. Yes, my passion for “The Little Drummer Boy” is a way of acting out against authority. And, so long as you and people like you — Communists all — keep hating holiday songs, I’ll keep loving them.















Obligatory Music Industry Rant

It’s not just the content owners who have completely lost it; that old-line content distributor, radio, seems to have gone completely off the deep end as well. Radio has been losing listeners to the internet and to digital media players, like the iPod, for years. Now, apparently, radio’s hopeful that “the security issues that portable hard drive media players pose will doom them to extinction, leaving only radio for behind”:http://www.fmqb.com/Article.asp?id=57584.
The article linked above suggests, rather reasonably, “Corporate America has always seen data security as a pressing issue and the introduction of portable devices that can store vast amounts of data represents yet another threat that must be addressed” But then it takes that too far: “A ban on iPods would only reinforce what our industry already knows – that radio remains the most effective, least obtrusive, and least harmful medium available”
I’m very sympathetic to radio. It’s a medium that has been very successful over a period of decades and is undergoing an uncomfortable transition. But looking for its salvation in the security threat posed by pervasive posession of portable hard drives is pitiful indeed. It’s pitiful in three specific ways:
# From a security point of view, banning iPods is no security at all
# Waiting for iPods to wither away of their own accord is an entirely passive approach
# Banning iPods falls well short of an actual business strategy
I’ll review these at a bit more length below. And, since I’m not much for whining without being positive as well, I’ll suggest a few strategic responses radio might want to take.
h3. Security
I’m tackling this topic because it’s the shortest. As the article linked above suggests, “Any device that can be easily connected to the USB port and can download data poses a threat.” This doesn’t just mean iPods (and similar products like Rios, Archos’s products, Dell DJs, etc.), it means those flash-based thumb drives (I bought a 128MB one a few months ago for $29.99), it means portable hard drives, it means digital cameras, it potentially even means cell phones (my year-and-a-half-old Nokia can easily exchange files with my desktop, and I have 128MB of memory in that too). Now, imagine you’re in charge of security for a large corporation. You have two choices:
* You can ban these products, and try to ensure that no employees bring in, say, a portable flash drive that’s smaller than my car keys
* You can install software on your computers that secures sensitive data
Which one do you think will work better? Which one do you think employees — who own cell phones and iRivers, and most of whom don’t want to steal your stuff — will like better?
h3. Passivity
Actually, this will probably be the shortest one to deal with. Who in their right mind has the following thought process:
# My opponent’s product is threatening the success of my product
# People seem to really like my opponent’s product
# My opponent’s product has a problem
# Neither my opponent nor anybody else will ever find a way to solve this problem
# Therefore, my business is safe!
Number 4 above seems particularly wishful. Business is all about solving problems, and has been forever; it’s a safe bet that someone out there will solve the problem you can’t. Cars are expensive and only for the elite? Henry Ford invents mass production. Clothing is laboriously handmade by every family? The English and Dutch invent textile factories. Can’t send non-Roman characters over the Teletype? Japanese figure out how to make cheap, fast, good faxes. Waiting for others to fail is never a good business plan.
h3. Not A Business Model
As stated above, this is really a corrolary to the passivity point. Virtually every industry has some plan going forward, whether it’s an official vision put forth by an association or simply a general agreement on the direction of market forces. The steel industry is moving towards smaller, faster plants. There’s no airline industry planning association, but Delta and United and Continental are all trying, or have tried, to launch low-cost, short-haul subsidiaries. What’s radio’s plan?
# Have all radio stations bought by Clear Channel
# ???
# Profit!
h3. So What Could A Plan Be?
This is the point at which I’m put on the spot to add something positive to this rant. Let’s see how I can do! I’m going to take the following limitations as given:
# We need a plan that doesn’t rely on satellite
# Radio must remain commercial
Existing commercial radio does a good job of getting certain very popular artists and songs, and artists and songs that sound like those very popular artists and songs, in rotation. That’s not a bad thing; it’s a good way to get people introduced to music. A lot of companies do just that — GM starts you out with a Chevy, then moves you up to a Cadillac; Sony starts you off with a regular TV then moves you up to a WEGA; The Gap starts you off at Old Navy then moves you up to Banana Republic; and so forth.
Radio moves its listeners through segments based on, principally, age. But being old enough that the music you listened to growing up is on the oldies station doesn’t mean anything — it just means you’re old. Rather than moving listeners through a series of age segments, radio needs to move listeners through a series of increasingly targeted stations that deliver:
* Greater listener loyalty
* Demographics of a sufficiently high level of specificity to allow advertisers to make targeted buys (I’ve bought radio in the past, and it’s very much a “shotgun” medium, reaching all sorts of people at once — not a good buy unless you have a very large budget and are prepared to saturate)
* An obvious “hand-off” path such that listeners can self-select to stations to which they will be more loyal and to which they provide a more valuable advertising property
This means a three-level strategy:
# A top level of broad Clear Channel-style stations that provide trend-conscious, younger, and browsing listeners the chance to get acquainted with a wider variety of top artists and songs on a single station.
# A second level of more-targeted stations that stick to one genre, introduce the listener to a wider set of artists, market events related to the genre and artists to the listeners, and provide more-targeted advertising that appeals specifically to the type of people who listen to that genre.
# A third level of very-targeted stations that play a smaller set of artists in a particular sub-genre. These will be the hardest stations to keep profitable but these stations should make a good profit by being in national, not local, networks that syndicate content and even DJs to stations around the nation and even broadcast that content through the Internet. These stations will deliver very targeted ad buys and so should command a premium price.
# If desired, these third-level stations could hand off to satellite radio.
This plan requires real work to pull off — stations need to be marketed to advertisers, more-targeted stations need to be publicised on less-targeted stations, and DJs need to spend a lot of time learning about specific genres and local music scenes. But it offers real potential for payoff, by building a very loyal set of listeners and defining reliable and useful advertising income streams.
That’s what I’d do if I was in charge of the world.















Commenting Works Again

It should be possible for everyone to comment on my blog entries now. Yes, I’ve worked hard and have given all four of my readers their voice back.
I could tell you the full story of what the problem was but it had something to do with comment spammers, a Movable Type upgrade, cookies, and Internet Explorer’s absoloutely bizarre approach to security, in which tremendously serious security holes are left open while the most innocuous practices are tightly controled.
So please post away below to test that all is fully functional. If you can’t comment, please e-mail me at nocomment at juniorbird dot com. And I promise to provide you with real content again soon. All four of you.















Down With The Curve!

This afternoon I took my Finance final. So this evening I’m doing that evil thing that everyone who’s ever had their grade set on a curve has done: hoping that my friends and colleagues did more poorly on their Finance exams than I did on mine. I like my classmates, or, at least, select ones. It’s not right that I hope for them to fail, but The Man makes me do it. It’s just the Program Office’s way of keeping us down.
The curve is a seductive, and deeply crappy, concept. By fitting all grades to a normal curve, most people become average — which is nice, because, statistically, most people _should_ be average. Except in school.
School isn’t about being average; it’s about learning and applying that learning. These are nice, measurable things, and we ought to have expectations of what should be learned — and, perhaps more importantly, what professors should be expected to teach. Curves avoid expectations and standards. Does the professor teach the material? Do the students know the material? The answer may be no, but the curve hides this; average can be mediocre at best, but mediocre is curved to a B (in the case of Marshall) and moderately knowledgeable curved to an A, when moderately knowledgeable should be a B-. The curve also hides individual differences between learning. Sometimes professors are good at teaching people who learn in certain ways but not people who learn in other ways. A very large standard deviation can indicate that some people just aren’t learning, while others are learning very well; but the curve subsumes the standard deviation. A person who gets 15 points under the mean could get a B-, when that person’s score really indicates a failure to understand important parts of the topic.
The curve also encourages professors to write extremely hard test. Is your mean score a 60? Well, the curve takes care of that — 60 becomes a B, 75 an A, and, well, if the mean is 60 there probably aren’t too many people with 90s. But too-hard tests can turn students off from a topic or even from pursuing their degree. And why should a test be traumatic? What is achieved? Tests should measure learning and encourage students to achieve further, or serve as a capstone.
Worst of all, the curve pulls students apart. We root for our classmates to do poorly — to set the bottom of the curve, to pull the mean down, to widen the standard deviation. This doesn’t promote school spirit or teamwork, it promotes concealing information and bitterness over the achievement of others.
Let’s be happy when people get As. Let’s hold professors to standards of teaching and students to standards of learning. Let’s abolish the curve and test against set standards. And if grades inflate, then let’s raise our standards.















Chemical Warfare Chili

Around this time of the year, when it turns cold and wet (for Los Angeles), there’s nothing like chili to warm the bones. And those bones I do like to warm, with my patented chemical warfare chili.
It’s not that my chili is filled with preservatives — I’m an all-natural guy — so much as the cooking process for this chili will drive burglars out of your home. And maybe friends.
h3. Step 1: Chili Powder
Combine 2 parts cumin, 1 part ancho chile powder, 1 part new mexico chile powder, 1 part cayenne, 1 part oregano, and salt and pepper to taste.
My chili contains something for everyone: meat, beans, _and_ tomato. And it’s pretty tasty. The basic concept starts from one realization. Some people say that chili is a soup, but who wants a watery chili? Others say that chili is a stew, but stew is chunks of goodness, separated from each other, in a liquid medium. Chili is neither of these; it doesn’t have clumps of texture or of flavor, and there’s no medium — everything is part of a single melange of flavor and texture. Chili, ladies and gentlemen, is most like a sauce. So, a sauce this is.
What’s the first thing you do when you make a sauce? Well, if you’re making a pan sauce, you deglaze; if you’re building a sauce from scratch, you make a mirepoix. Since this is the chili that has everything, we do all both!
h3. Step 2: Brown The Meat
Caramelization = flavor! Mix two pounds of ground meat with 1/4-1/3 C of the chili powder. Brown in duch oven over medium-high heat; remove to plate covered with paper towels to soak up the oil. Deglaze with a small amount of chicken stock or beer. Watch out; this is one of the stages in which your housemates’ eyes will begin to burn and water.
h3. Step 2.5: Make the mirepoix
Chop equal amounts carrot, onion, celery; you should end up with 1/2 — 2/3 the volume of the uncooked meat. Add a bay leaf and 3 chopped cloves of garlic, then mix in 1/8 — 1/6 C chili powder. Cook over medium-low heat, in a little oil, until the vegetables are soft and the onion is clear. This is the other stage in which those around you may begin to look like tear-gassed protesters.
h3. Step 3: Combine
Add the meat back into the mirepoix. Add in 28 oz. beans of your choice (with all the liquid), 28 oz. crushed or chopped canned tomatoes (with all the liquid), 14 oz. tomato paste, some more of that beer or chicken stock. Mix well, bring to a simmer. If you really like a 5-alarm chili, add another 1/8 — 1/4 C of chili powder at this stage.
h3. Step 4: Patience
As you cook the combination, the tomatoes and beans will release _more_ liquid than you started out with. Rather than getting a watery chili, we’re going to put a splatterguard over the dutch oven and simmer the sucker for several hours until it’s all reduced down to a nice mixture with a relatively consistent texture and flavor — the texture and flavor of chili! The effect of the chili on those around you as you cook should moderate in this phase.
h3. Step 5: Serve and eat!
Wait for the chili to cool a tad — it will be incredibly hot. Then taste it. Is it too darned spicy? Then serve over rice.
The best part, however, is tomorrow. Put the chili in the fridge overnight and the flavors will mellow and you’ll get a great, spicy, smoky flavor. Serve with cola or with a good, flavorful lager or hefeweizen.















It’s A Purge!

So now Tom Ridge is gone. In quick succession Ridge, Tommy Thompson, and Colin Powell have been cast aside by the Bush administration — three of the GOP’s most prominent, admired moderates have become irrelevant.
It’s important to think back four years to understand what went on here. In 1999-2000, Powell’s name was bandied about for Veep, if not more. Thompson and Ridge were popular governors of moderate states, percieved to have broad appeal. Vice President in 2004 was not unreasonably suggested as a goal for these individuals as well.
Flash forward to today, these three prominent Republicans have been cast aside — good riddance, most say. Powell is percieved as irrelevant, powerless in the Iraq war, his international reputation in tatters and his domestic reputation not much better. Ridge is remembered as the guy who created silly colored alerts. Who is Tommy Thompson again? Nobody would ever remember that he was, effectively, the architect of welfare reform.
Why would this happen? Well, Bush has consistently spoken to the center but acted for the right. If the right wishes to continue to run the GOP, they need to neuter the center. What better way to do so than give all of the center’s leaders the opportunity to fail, and then make sure they do? Irrelevant people can’t become policy leaders, in or out of office.
What’s my prediction? Look for Rudy Giuliani to succeed Ridge in Homeland Security. Right now, the biggest threat to the right in 2008 is a McCain/Giuliani ticket; giving Rudy a job that’s too big to succeed at is the best way to remove that threat. It’s a purge, all right — a quiet purge, but a purge nonetheless.