« Archives in December, 2005

Back When I Was Your Age, Sonny…

p. Actual conversation heard outside the Baja Fresh:
bq.. 7-year-old boy: Let’s play Halo!
5-year-old boy: Yeah, Halo! Bang! Boom!
7-year-old boy: I’ll be the Master Chief
5-year-old boy: And I’ll be the aliens!
7-year-old boy: (pretending to hold machinegun) Brrrap! Brrrap!
5-year-old boy: (wielding straw like an energy blade) Zzzzhew! Zzzzhew!
7-year-old boy: Brrrap! Brrrap!
5-year-old boy: Aaah! (dies, respawns)
7-year-old boy: Brrrap! Click! (Imitates reloading machinegun) Chunk! Brrrap!
5-year-old boy: Aaah! (dies, respawns)
7-year-old boy: Brrrap! Brrrap!
5-year-old boy: Zzzzhew! Zzzzhew!
p. Son, when I was your age, we played “secret agent”:http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089901/, we had cap guns that went bang! bang!, and we never, ever, reloaded. Just like in the movies. Times change, huh?















Camera Pr0n

I have this theory that I have four types of readers: those who prefer “true life stories”:http://juniorbird.com/archive/cat_true_life_stories.php, those who like to hear about “food”:http://juniorbird.com/archive/cat_food.php, those who like my “photos”:http://juniorbird.com/archive/cat_photos.php, and those who come here for my “technical”:http://juniorbird.com/archive/000598.php “articles”:http://juniorbird.com/archive/000599.php from their searches on Google, etc. I know I haven’t provided much for my photo-focused readers lately, but, since Juniorbird.com is all about serving you and catering to your interests, I thought I’d put something together for you all. And that something is: my new 70-300mm telephoto.
I’m going to Costa Rica, land of relaxation and sun and tons of things to take pictures of. Specifically, I anticipate tons of small, distant things to take pictures of. That means I need something that’ll get me up close — after some research, given my budget, a zoom going up to 300mm would be good. I got a good price from my “neighborhood camera store”:http://www.traderjims.com/ on a “Sigma 70-300mm f4-5.6 macro”:http://www.sigmaphoto.com/lenses/lenses_all_details.asp?id=3303&navigator=3, a theroretically “apochromatic”:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apochromatic lens. Reviews are pretty good, especially at the price, and it’s got the same chromatic shift as my existing 28-90mm lens, so all my colors will be the same, whichever lens I use. Very handy in terms of imagining what the final product I get will be.
I’m going to have to take a roll before I travel, I think, just to see how the photos come out and know if there’s any tricks I need to be conscious of. Until then, however, here’s a little porn of the lens itself:
!/images/lens/retracted.jpg!
!/images/lens/extended.jpg!
Yes, it does get much longer, why do you ask?
!/images/lens/elements.jpg!
Look at the reflections from all of those separate elements!
Well, I’m excited, and, in a month, I hope to have some photos to show you all that will make you excited too!















Merry Xmas to Me!

Three years ago, I got a Sur La Table gift certificate for Christmas. I’d always meant to use it for cooking classes but I “only managed to use it once”:http://juniorbird.com/archive/001125.php and, as much fun as that one experience was, it hardly drained the gift card. Throughout the year since I’ve looked at the calendar and tried to make time for the classes I wanted to take, but I never seemed to be able to schedule them in. As it got closer to Christmas and I started thinking of food-related gifts for some of my friends, I started to feel guilty about my unspent gift card. After a few days of bouncing back and forth, I finally decided to blow the cards on kitchen stuff. After all, who doesn’t need kitchen stuff?
So, off I went to Sur La Table, accompanied by my stalwart friend, “Chef JoAnna”:http://chefjoanna.blogspot.com/, for technical advice on what I wanted and what to look for in products. With JoAnna’s help, I blew my entire gift certificate in a veritable orgy of food porn. What did I get? Well, look here:
!/images/xmascookingstuff.jpg!
That’s a:
* Nice new pan, for cooking stuff that should have a nice crust and for making a _fond_ to start pan sauces
* Flat whisk to help in making said pan sauces, as well as other tasty stuff (like roux!)
* Stick blender, for soups and sauces
* Cheese knife (the odd-looking knife with the holes and two spikes on the end), since I use a fair amount of pretty good-quality goat’s and sheep’s cheese
* Very fine microplane grater, especially for things like garlic and galanga
* Scraper, for cleaning up and cutting soft things
It’s a great haul, and I’m very excited. I wonder if I can use them all at the same time in one recipe?















A Sudden Epidemic

After years of thinking it was apocryphal, I’ve finally fallen victim to that most feared — and stereotypcial — affliction of suburbia: bellybutton lint.
Yes, all of a sudden, after years of a clean bellybutton, I find myself reaching down there to scratch an itch and digging out a little ball of miscellaneous combined fabric bits. It’s bizarre, my bellybutton has always been clean in the past, but, suddenly, as soon as I start wasting my vacation time in front of the TV, I’m lint-y. I wonder if it’s a sign.
I hope that this doesn’t sink my shot with the girls.















Dear Cingular

Thank you for “upgrading my voice mail system”:http://juniorbird.com/archive/001818.php. I very much appreciate that you managed to replace a simple, effective old system with something that is new, annoying, and not nearly as well-suited to the usage patterns of any conceivable user of your services.
It’s actually difficult for me to decide where to start when considering how awful my new voicemail is, you’ve just given me so many different and distinct kinds of crappiness to consider. A few mis-features that particularly stand out are:
* Your persistence in announcing the number of the caller before I listen to their voicemail. This is potentially useful in, say, a large company’s voicemail system, because then I can hear “new message from Joe Argleburtz, in Materials Engineering” — that’s useful. But, statistically, most calls to me will be coming from outside of the Cingular network, so, instead, I’ll just get the phone number. Now, it might be fine if you announced the phone number in a chunked way — 310 555 1212, you know? That’s how people think of phone numbers and have tough of phone numbers since mine changed from “CLeveland 9-5777″:http://www.laalmanac.com/communications/cm01e.htm . Instead, your computer reads a number off as 3105551212, which makes it essentially incomprehensible. It does, however, take up time before I get to the message, and both I and the person who called me would like to get to the message as soon as possible.
* Once I do get to that message, my controls don’t include “delete” or “save”; I need to listen to the entire message before I can do anything to it. I can apparently hit the 3 key repeatedly to skip through the message but this strikes me as a lot of work, when, in most cases, I want to listen to the important beginning of the message and call back (or ignore the caller).
* I suppose it is possible that there is some button that will delete messages while they’re playing, or skip straight to the end, or even a way that I can turn off the phone number announcement. However, there are “two downloadable guides”:http://www.cingular.com/customer_service/common_voice_mail#guide for the system, based on what geographical area you’re in; neither covers California, however, which strikes me as a bit of an oversight.
* The current system only keeps messages 14 days. Which is fine, actually; the old system didn’t keep messages very long either (although I think it may have kept them for 30 days). However, the old system played new messages first, followed by old messages; this one plays old messages first, followed by new messages, when I call in. This strikes me as a rather brain-dead choice, as I’ve already heard that old message and had 14 days in which to do something with it, while the new message is of unknown urgency and could be important. Also, it’s super-annoying since it’s hard to skip messages.
* Password-free access. If I call voicemail from my phone, I get straight into my voicemail. This seems like a substantial security risk, should my phone be lost or stolen. I’ve had a Cingular phone since 1998 and I never noticed that keying in my password was a hassle.
All that said, I do appreciate the system that allows me to check my voicemail from another phone, and I really appreciate that you gave me complete Bluetooth 1.2 on my phone, including full OBEX. Thanks, Cingular!
Best,
Wade















How Did I Get This E-Mail?

The following appeared in my inbox; note the school mentioned in the signature (Prof. Armstrong is no relation):
Hi Meredith,
This is a reminder that you have been selected to administer the course evaluations for Professor Armstrong on Th. 12/01 for the following class: 132A Individual Taxation
The course eval packets will be in Professor Armstrong’s mailbox by 1 pm today. Please coordinate a time to pick up the packet from him.
Please return the packet immediately after class to one of the drop sites listed on the packet.
Thank you for your assistance.
Jessica Moller
Admissions Assistant
The Paul Merage School of Business
University of California Irvine
(949) xxx-xxxx