« Posts tagged holiday

A Year to be Thankful For

OK, I’ll admit, I thought that last year was a big one to be thankful for, but so far 2011’s been the big one!

I’m thankful for my beautiful wife, of course, who makes me happier every day; concomitantly, I’m thankful that I seem to be doing a good job making her happy too!

Court & Amy enjoy their fighter pilot training!

I’m thankful for the furry family, too, with Juniorbird, my best friend since 1998, having a year full of cuddles and dancing:
Junior climbs

Jake, who’s my wife’s best buddy and is enjoying his ninth year of puppyhood and good health:

Jake proudly graduates

And our new family member, Charley, who tries so hard to be good (I’m thankful he tries! I’m even more thankful when he succeeds!), is such a cuddler, and may be the only of the three pets who loves me as much as they love my wife:1

Charley sits like a good boy

And, finally, I’m thankful for [my awesome new job. So what could be a bigger year than that?

(Spoiler alert: I think 2012 will be even better!)


  1. I’m also thankful that they love my wife, who’s wonderful and deserves all the love in the world! Would I really want to marry a woman whom my bird didn’t love more than anything in the world?(Also thankful for: figuring out how to do footnotes in Tumblr’s flavor of Markdown








How to Capture the Spirit of the Holidays

If you know me really well, you probably know that I love Christmas. I love the songs, I love the decorations, I especially love the gifts — I wish I could have it all year ‘round! That’s why I feel inspired to offer this brief primer on how to capture the spirit of the holidays.

The first step is to decide on your priority: is it presents, or is it the Christmas roast? Of course, everybody loves presents, and the more the better, so it’s tempting to focus on that; but, often, it’s time with your family that’s the most memorable years later, and that often includes the delicious, gigantic roast that so many families enjoy this time of year.

Me, I’m a bit crazy for the idea of cooking this year — I think I’ll roast my first goose. Which is why I’m inclined to plan ahead and go for the capture earlier, rather than later. But, if you’re focused on gifts, you have a lot easier job, both in set-up and in what methods you use for the capture.

Really, if what you want is the gifts, the best strategy is to set up some fishing wire right outside the chimney flue. Then, Santa trips, and you just have to run out from behind the tree and hit him upside the head, and you can capture him and take the big bag of gifts.

lyinginwait

If you like, you can make it automatic, by the use of pulleys and assorted contraptions.

contraption

You can always go for the old narrow-the-chimney option. Just put a sleeve in there and wait for the fat man in red to get stuck. Wait a few days and he won’t put up any resistance as you go in and fish out that bag of gifts. Now, be warned that it’ll smell awful for a few days, but the payoff is gigantic.

stuck

There’s of course the sedative option; but then you have the challenge of anticipating Santa’s body weight and setting the dosage appropriately. After all, if his belly is shaking like a larger bowl full of jelly than usual, you just have an angry, dizzy old elf; if he’s slimmed down, per his HMO’s instructions (or does the North Pole have socialized medicine?), then you’re liable to put him down for good! No, that’s an approach best left to the anesthesiologists.

poison

Executing your plan in the comfort of your home is a great way to get yourself a big ‘ol bag of gifts. But, if you want more, then you should get more. If you tackle Santa’s whole sleigh, you stand to capture a whole lot more on a chilly Christmas evening! Of course, you’ve multiplied your level of difficulty by many times. I recommend booby-trapping your roof.

roof

If you choose this strategy, you get the delicious bonus of an unforgettable Christmas roast. I certainly couldn’t turn that down.

roast

Whatever way you go, I encourage you to capture the spirit of the holidays this year. Having Santa under your control will be a delightful reversal of fortune. Just please wait until after he’s come to my house, because I want my loot too. Don’t worry, I won’t keep him for myself; as you can plainly see from reading this, I’m already filled with the true spirit of the holiday.








Have a Very Flammable Christmas

You know those Christmas lights that you always hear about burning down houses? Yeah, we have those hanging up in our house.

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They’re called Santa Lights, and my grandparents got them when my father was just a tyke. For years after that, the Santa Lights lit the family Christmas trees; now they sit wrapped around one of our windows. We turn them on when we’re cold and want to heat the entire room. Somehow, despite this gigantic thermal production, the Santa Lights never set a Christmas tree on fire. They even operate with one light burnt out! I guess you could say that they’re good-quality.

It’s great how they made things back then. Not only does the documentation state that the Santa Lights are suitable for “use on AC or DC current” — who’s wired for DC anymore? Heck, who was still wired for DC back then? — but they come in a great-looking package, complete with extra 15¢ lights:

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We have a lot of other great retro decorations as well. There’s the paper stocking that hangs on the bedroom door, complete with fun-loving holiday elves:

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There’s the Christmas Tree skirt, which frankly isn’t particularly dramatic but has somehow held up for years (also: totally flammable too!):

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And then there’s the highlight, the glass ornaments. I was never allowed to put these on a tree when I was little — on the few occasions we had trees — because they’re breakable. (Don’t worry, we had unbreakable ornaments too!) Some of these ornaments are painted, others are just shiny, but they’re all great:

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Growing up, these would come out every Christmas, old friends I was excited to see again; always these, never new decorations. We were a Christmas equipment-keeping type of family. Decorations went away into a big black leather duffel, dusty from its long life in closets playing the role of storage rather than that of carriage, that came out only at Christmas. But, most of all, we saved wrapping paper.

Those ads on TV, where the kids would open their presents with abandon? Yeah, I was jealous of those. I longed for the unrestrained exhilaration of the TV giftees, ripping their wrapping paper asunder, their faces changing from eager anticipation to beaming joy as the ragged, torn paper was thrown aside and the wonderful box within revealed. We carefully released the tape that held our presents shut, delicately unfolded the paper, setting it aside carefully — and, equally carefully, removing the bow and the tag! — before we looked at the goodie contained therein.

After we’d opened the bounty Santa had brought, there was always clean-up. The wrapping paper, painstakingly set aside during the opening of the presents, would be folded and packed away; the bows put in one bag, the ribbon in another, the tags in a third (if you were smart, you’d kept three separate piles as you opened your presents); and all of it would be put in a closet, to sit safely away and appear again come wrapping-time next year.

Of course, in many ways our pack-rattiness was convenient. Sure, paper got creased and patterns faded; sure, the stickum on the bottom of bows dried out and the little loop of scotch tape you used to fix the bow on made it bounce like a spring over the present; but you already had all of the cards you needed made up. To Mom, from Wade? There! From Grandma, to Wade? Ditto! Even Santa had cards made up from him to provide for anonymous gifts.

And, of course, it was fun because all of these old friends could come out year after year. Hello wrapping paper that I liked last year; hello gift bag I wish I’d gotten; hello tag that was on the best gift of all, I hope you’ve got something good for me this year too!

Now we’ve inherited all of our Christmas goodies, passed down from grandparents to parents to, finally, our little household. And it really is exciting to see everything again, and it really does make this place feel like home. I love it. But we don’t re-use our wrapping paper anymore, no siree. This year, I get to tear my gifts open with abandon, because we make some new traditions here too.








Official Juniorbird.com Products of the Year

I know that you’ve been waiting for some kind of guidance on what to get your friends for Christmas or Hanukkah this year. Here at Juniorbird.com, we’re always looking to improve the quality-of-life of our beloved readers. Part of this is letting you know about the finest items that our skilled operatives have bought and tested this year. For your holiday shopping convenience, please enjoy these products that we are confident will change your life.

Whiskey Glass

I’m a big Scotch fan; I enjoy a tipple on many a cooler evening, or a weekend afternoon in front of the TV. But a delicious single malt is pricey, so you want to get the most flavor for it and you also want to drink it at a very responsible rate. Your typical 8oz tumbler isn’t great for either of these: a solid ounce- to ounce-and-a-half pour doesn’t go far, and the straight-sided design doesn’t collect any of the luscious (depending on your point of view) smells.

So I got this scotch whiskey glass. It’s been a revelation! Every scotch tastes not only better, but different than with a tumbler. I can detect many more subtle variations, and the abrasive alcohol-y notes are minimized. Or, my mind tricks me into experiencing that way. I guess I’m a cheap placebo date!

Also, it’s helped those bottles of Scotch last longer, because it’s just not tempting to make a Mad Men-style healthy pour when you have an appropriately-sized glass. For instance, observe the difference when I pour in a pony — that’s about an ounce — of Scotch:

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Obviously, the big glass on the left is your standard tumbler, and on the right is the Scotch glass. You can barely guess that it’s the same amount! It’s much easier to sip and enjoy from that Scotch glass.

Epson Flatbed & Negative Scanner

If you shoot film, then this is the scanner for you. I wanted to scan in all of the black-and-white photos I’d shot and developed, since, you know, who looks at printed photos anymore? They’re no good for tagging on Facebook. Unfortunately, your typical highly-rated film scanner runs well over a thousand dollars.

This nifty flatbed isn’t too big — so it doesn’t take up enough room for your spouse to start complaining about how your hobby is taking over the house, or at least not past the caustic chemicals you’re using in the tub — and has an attachment for scanning negatives and slides. The included software is easy-to-use and takes great scans. Definitely my bridge between film and digital.

Kitchen TV

This is a funny recommendation, because, while we have this 9” under-counter TV in our kitchen, I’m not sure I’d recommend it. This is a replacement unit; our first one died a couple of weeks after arrival, and there’s a lot of reviews like that on the web. On the other hand, when it works, this is truly one of the best things ever. Courtney and I honestly fight to see who gets to do the dishes, just so we can watch our TV or DVDs on it.

I ran a long coax cable around a doorway from our Tivo so we can watch Tivoed shows on it too. (Pity that the remote doesn’t work from over in the kitchen — no skipping ads!) Having this TV really does change the experience of using the kitchen — cooking and cleaning are much more fun. Ya do have to watch out and actually pay attention while using sharp things and fire, but, if you have that kind of self-discipline, I highly recommend you buy a TV like this for your own kitchen!

Waterproof Camera

With the good-enough cameras that you find on most cell phones these days there’s not a heck of a lot of reason to own a point-and-shoot. Nonetheless, I’m recommending this one for one specific reason — it’s waterproof. Unlike your cell phone, you can take it to the pool, take it on the boat, and even take it to the beach and not have to worry about it getting stolen while you’re swimming — since it’ll be with you!

This little Panasonic takes some great photos. It’s easy-to-use and has a ton of settings, handy and quasi-artsy. Get this camera or one like it, and take it everywhere and have a good time. Heck, get the floating camera strap so you don’t need to worry about dropping it in the lake.

(Yes, it’s an older model — often you can save a bunch by getting a last-generation camera. For the past 4-5 years sensors and autofocus have been good enough that you don’t get a ton of benefit from getting the latest stuff — an older model is still great.)

If you’re still looking for some gifts, I highly recommend all four of these. Well, three of these four, and one more in the category of the one I described. Go to town this holiday season, get yourself a nice treat like one of these!








Thanksgiving: The Year We Make Contact

2010 has been quite a year; there’s a lot to give thanks for, and a lot to worry about. Today’s a day for great food and great family, and I’m filled with thoughts of thanks for many of the great things in my life:

  • My wife, who I’ve been lucky enough to have been married to for the last year
  • My parents, who are endlessly supportive
  • Our little black dog, who reminds me to be cheerful
  • Our white bird, even though he’s recently forgotten how to whistle the way I taught him — that is, on tune — and learned to whistle like Courtney, who’s lucky to make a wavering, tottering little noise from between her pursed lips. Junior’s learned a new song, and it’s not pretty, folks.
  • Our great friends and family, whose love and generosity at our wedding I’m reminded of now, around our 1-year anniversary
  • Great friends, who are helping me believe in myself and get a great job (more on that later!)
  • Krav Maga, which keeps me in shape and helps me burn off negative thoughts and energy
  • The Maillard reaction, which I like to use several times a week
  • Photography, especially film, especially the good luck of finding a little old Canon AE-1 at a garage sale
  • Writing, especially my ability to do a lot of it (more on this later too!)
  • And last but not least, new furniture and heirloom plates and servingware. It’s a lovely new season at this house!

So, happy Thanksgiving, everyone! May your decisions this year be better than those of the Wampanoag, who kept our ancestors from starving so that they could then take over the whole continent.








Ready for Halloween!

My wife and I were both born to sensible parents, not prone to excessive pomp and circumstance around any holiday season at all. You would think this would be ideal for a couple of kids who were, by all accounts, independent and all growed-up even from the youngest of ages; somehow, we both came out loving nothing so much as festive holiday decoration and amusements.

One of our favorite such decorations and amusements is a gingerbread kit from the 99 cents store. They’ve one for every season, and they’re both fun and delicious! What could be better? Here’s our rendition of the Wilton Halloween Cookie House, with one front and one side prepared by Courtney, the other front and other side prepared by me (try to figure out who made which!):

Courtney's Front.
Courtney's Side
Wade's Side
Wade's Front

OK, artistes we’re not. But we made piping bags! For a pair like us — with the hand-eye coordination of the average 4-year-old — this is Matisse.