Published Jun 16, 2006
I have food allergies. For the sake of simplicity, it’s easiest to say that I’m allergic to pretty much everything. If accuracy is a priority, then I’m specifically allergic to corn — whose byproducts are in most everything — and to cow’s milk, whose byproducts are in most everything else. For extra added bonus I’m also allergic to pineapple and dates. None of this fine food will kill me or anything crazy like that, it’ll just make me boring to hang out with, unless your idea of a good time is rifling through my stuff while I’m in the bathroom. So, for years, I’ve avoided anything that most of the readers of this blog would consider “food”. Or, at least, anything that most of the readers of this blog would consider “yay food!” But now, there may be hope — there may be something that we can do about my little excessive histamine response problem.
All the places I’ve traveled in the last few years have been in Latin America, and I speak pretty good Spanish and mediocre Portuguese, so I’ve been able to ask specifically, read labels, and ensure that I don’t consume milk or corn products (this is exceeding difficult in Mexico). But Thailand, Viet Nam, Cambodia — can’t speak none of that. In many cases, I won’t have any concept of what’s in the food that’s on the plate in front of me. So I went to my doctor, and, after a few minutes of back-and-forth, ended up with a prescription for Gastrocrom:
The drug itself comes in a big box, stuffed with foil envelopes containing the drug delivery system, an ampule:
I break open an ampule and empty the clear liquid into a glass filled with water. Then I drink the water. Then I can eat anything I want. Seriously, I had a Papa John’s pizza and a coke earlier this week, which is pretty much the exacta of cow milk-based cheese and corn syrup. Normally, that would have given me an unpleasant evening and some challenges during the following morning — but my night and day were completely uneventful. Every day since has been the same. I can, ya know, eat just about anything. And I plan to take advantage of that brand-new fact on my vacation.
Wow, if that stuff sticks, it is basically viagra to a man who thought he’d never have sex again. Awesome news.
Good analogy, although it would be less depressing if I were actually getting any.
That’s incredible. How liberated you must feel! And, unlike sex, you can have pizza and soda ANYWHERE YOU WANT!