Published Jun 18, 2005

Ever since I got back from PRIME, people have complimented me on my sagacity in traveling to Brazil. “Wow,” they say, “weren’t those Brazilian chicks hot?” And all I can do is sigh, because, no, Brazilian women aren’t really more attractive than American women.

I realize that’s an unpopular opinion to hold. The reputation of Brazilian women is, certainly, that they are incredibly beautiful. They are supposed to have perfect bodies, sun-kissed skin, wear skimpy thongs, and have incredible bikini waxes. OK, I have no personal knowledge of the last factor, but I can speak to the other three.

There are spectacularly beautiful Brazilian women, it’s true. But I’m not convinced that there are proportionally more beautiful women in Brazil than there are in the US. I do think that three things are true:

  • Brazilian women show off what they have more — all the pants are tight and the shirts revealing, to say nothing of the thongs on the beach. Great on a pretty young thing, not so great on your average fifty-year-old.
  • Brazilian women know how to move. It’s a culture that incorporates dancing from an early age, so everyone walking down the street knows how to walk and everyone in every club knows how to dance.
  • Brazilian women are bootylicious. They’ve got curves. Especially in the trunk area.

This all adds up to a fine product. But how do they stack up to the local “talent”?

  • If you like straight hair, America’s your town.
  • American women have, on average, more beautiful faces.
  • Certainly, Brazil is an ethnically diverse place, but there are still a wider variety of looks in the US.

So, in sum, Brazilian women are exotic, they’re different, they’re fun, and they sure can move, but they’re not spectacularly more beautiful than American women. No, we can all do just fine staying at home.

Still, I’d go to Brazil for the carne seca. Now that’s something special.