Published Jul 27, 2005

It’s no phone book, but it’s not a bad start. My friends and unusually-talented classmates over at Babblog have, for some reason, become addled enough to publish something I wrote — in this case, a discourse on the Mojito. I think you’ll find that my article contains the same quality of content that you’ve become used to here at juniorbird.com, although the rest of Babblog may, disappointingly, actually be competently-written.

This article was inspired by a shockingly awful Mojito served to me on my recent trip to Baltimore. Now, admittedly, a Mojito is a fairly difficult-to-make drink requiring several steps and featuring flavors that don’t automatically come from a bottle of liquor but which are entirely essential to the overall experience of the beverage. However, when we asked the cute, buxom bartender (whom I had, suspiciously, overtipped throughout the night, despite her weak pours) “do you have any specialty drinks?”, and she replied, “yes, we have a special mojito,” we thought we were guaranteeing ourselves the best of what the Havana Club could offer.

The Havana Club Mojitos we received were strongly flavored with Rose’s Lime Juice and weakly flavored with rum, simultaneously the exact inverse and the opposite of how they should have been. Now, that bartender may have been a stellar example of how a woman needn’t be skinny to be beautiful and sexy, but there’s only so much a tight black outfit can get a girl. So, dispirited by our awful Mojitos, we decamped to another bar with stronger, tastier drinks, and much sluttier, much less attractive cocktail waitresses. It was sort of a win-lose thing.

So, anyway, to the point: don’t make awful drinks like the Havana Club did. Read my article in Babblog and make your Mojitos right.

5 Comments

Next time you visit the Bay Area (soon! it’s much nicer here than Phoenix or LA!) you should come to one of Goer.org’s Sunday BBQs. Evan makes killer mojitos.

Details to add: Evan’s version makes the mint syrup on the stove top, allowing it to do an even more thorough extraction than you can do with hot tap water. (Also, it means you can use filtered water, though I suppose you could do that using a microwave with the shake-and-store method. In any case: chlorine and metallic stuff is icky, and does not go well with your mojito. And I doubt LA’s water is any better than ours.) And he actually does squeeze the limes; I think it’s worth it. Pulp == Good Thing!

The recipe you mention, which I believe is posted here looks really tasty — but it makes a punch-style drink rather than a built drink. A little research shows that Evan’s version is actually closer to the original, and that mine matches a new style created by Bacardi as a marketing ploy to sell more rum (the original version would be difficult to serve in a bar unless the bar was already equipped to sell pre-mixed drinks, although said version would be a great match for a restaurant). However, since I:

  1. Am certified as a mixologist by the State of California
  2. Have a higher PageRank

I am declaring my method canonical and Evan’s merely “likely tasty”.

a) Grr. Bacardi is trying to confuse people about the true nature of the Platonic Ideal of Mojito just because it doesn’t suit their business plan. I reject their faux-jito, and declare it anathema. There can be only one! (Well, OK, actually, it sounds like it’s probably perfectly fine, aside from the replacement of lime juice with lime-ade. That’s just wrong; fresh fruit is infinitely superior. And you call yourself a Californian…)

b) Is “mixology” seriously something you can get certified in?!

b) Yes. You should see the certificate on my wall. Prettier than my college diploma!

a) The problem with fresh lime juice is that it can actually be too limey, and overpower other flavors. Limeade actuallyis a nice compromise. But I plan to try Evan’s recipe and see which I like better.