Down the Up Staircase
Mar 15, 2008
Had a nice service for my friend Rick earlier today. Driving home, I came out of the strip mall flats of Inglewood and through the tangle of I-405 on-ramps and suddenly the sky was bright and a bank of cotton candy-fluffy white clouds sat just to my west, halfway to the ocean. Read on… (plus 1 Comments)
Another Year, Another Resolution
Jan 4, 2008
I really do like the tradition of New Year’s resolutions. Heck, I like it enough I’ve done it four years in a row now Life presents us with many daily challenges and, let’s face it, keeps most of us busy. Making resolutions around now can really help get the old head above the trees, to see the forest. I could use that, especially after the last year. So, in the ol’ Juniorbird tradition, here’s last year’s resolutions reviewed and some new ones for 2008. Read on… (plus 1 Comments)
Let's A-Wassail!
Dec 23, 2007
Earlier today, as I was shopping in the HEB with my parents, I found myself overcome with the season. Well, not so much with the season as with the music. I’ve been without my music since I came to Houston, although, technically, that’s only because I’m too stubborn to listen to Pandora without my good speakers plugged in. Anyway, the carols playing over the HEB’s PA system put a smile on my face, and suddenly I was singing along. Read on… (plus 1 Comments)
Orage
Dec 22, 2007
The night Rick died, his ex called me in the middle of the night to tell me. But her voicemail was unintelligible; and I was already up. I’d been up for an hour, and I’d spent that whole time in terror. Because I was sure he was coming to get me.
Read on… (plus 3 Comments)
Jamie Lynn Spears is Pregnant
Dec 19, 2007
Can you believe that both Britney and her sister have managed to have unplanned kids? Can you believe that Brit’s mom was going to write a book on how to raise a celeb family? Read on… (plus 14 Comments)
Livin' on the Edge
Nov 25, 2007
I’m a dangerous man; I live under an alias. Or, technically, I live under a misspelling that the DMV inserted into my middle name when I got a California driver’s license back in ‘93. Did you ever check your license to see if your name was spelled right? Well, were I to have a police record, mine would have an AKA on it! That’s right, I’m officially one of those rugged, sexy bad boys now! Read on… (plus 2 Comments)
For Your Holiday Consideration
Nov 16, 2007
Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Joyous Kwanzaa. Whatever your holiday, we at Juniorbird.com want to share it with you. That’s why this year, for the first time, I’m proud, very proud, to announce the official Juniorbird.com t-shirts. These beautiful shirts let you take all of the fun of Juniorbird.com with you, wherever you go. So, please, invite us into your homes this holiday season, and share us with your family.
Read on… (plus 1 Comments)
The Smell, or Something of Fear
Oct 23, 2007
The AIG and I went to a Haunted House last weekend. It was kind of a lark — we were having a night on the town, walking down the street, and there was an empty ticket line for a haunted house. Seemed rather season-appropriate, so we went in. And then the AIG shivered in anticipated fear as we made our way to the head of the line to get in, and screamed her way through the (admittedly very well-done) haunted house. Read on…
Sanford and Me
Sep 26, 2007
I had to move the trash to leave the house the other morning. Not my trash; I may occasionally put up with a bit more mess around the house than I should, but fundamentally I’m a guy who color-codes and labels everything. No, it’s my neighbor, My little alley has turned into a caricature straight out of Sanford and Son. Read on… (plus 1 Comments)
Is it That Time of Year Again?
Sep 18, 2007
It may be just that nature is teasing me — as I probably deserve — but it seems as if the weather’s changing the last few days. The I-wish-I-had-an-air-conditioner season is hopefully passing into the part of the year that makes friends from back east wax poetic about LA. Summer is lovely — and I even enjoyed the beach this year — but nothing says comfy like needing a throw blanket to go with your couch. Read on… (plus 1 Comments)
Representin'
Aug 11, 2007
For some reason, very few things make a home look bad to me as a fridge whose light has burnt out. To me, it says “I just don’t care about having a pleasant, maintained place to live.” I mean, you go into the fridge several times every day, right? So it’s not like you can avoid noticing it.
Of course, with an attitude like that, my fridge light would burn out. For the last week, I’ve had a nice, ghetto kitchen with a darkened fridge. Très Palms. Read on… (plus 2 Comments)
We Hold These Truths to be Self-Evident, That Things Should Go Boom in the Sky Every 4th of July
Jul 5, 2007
I don’t really have an entry here; I just schlepped my camera along with me as I enjoyed my fourth of July, and I thought I’d share it with you all. Now, some might say that I should’ve schlepped a tripod, too, what with the night pictures of fireworks and all, but those people would be spending waaay too much time thinking ahead and waaay too little time getting out of the house. OK, normally that’s me, but for once I thought I’d just go for it.
Read on…
Attack of the Lightbulbs
Jun 28, 2007
About a month ago, my desk lamp in my office quit working. I figured it burnt out, so I changed the lightbulb, but there was no more light with the new bulb than with the old. Sadly, I classified my ’50s-style lamp as dead. Then, today, the light in my kitchen went out. I replaced the bulb but: nothing. So I washed the dishes in the dark, and vowed to call the landlord tomorrow, when he was in the office. Read on… (plus 2 Comments)
Radio Free Palms
May 19, 2007
The rest of you are not lucky enough to have personalized radio that plays just for you. That’s a pity, because good ‘ol over-the-air radio is going away, and there’s nothing like these simple, non-digital broadcasts to make you feel at home. And, by over-the-air, I mean bellowed out by your neighbor at all hours of the day or night.
Read on… (plus 1 Comments)
Run-On
Apr 5, 2007
As the weather turns from winter to spring, so a young man’s fancy turns to more stimulating pursuits. Running, that is. It’s beautiful out, the sun is shining, the air is as clear as it’s going to get in LA, new buds are everywhere — I want to run and see the world. Read on… (plus 3 Comments)
Santa Barbara Winery 2000 Sauvignon Blanc
Mar 19, 2007
I’ve been drinking a lot more wine lately — about a bottle a week. I’ve always enjoyed wine, and it was finally time to learn about it, which means trying a lot. I have little storage room, so there’s not much space for me to keep around bottles that I don’t plan to drink soon; but there are two bottles that have been taking up precious wine rack space for a while now.
Read on… (plus 1 Comments)
Goodbye, Mr. Lakin
Mar 18, 2007
I think I need to write more nice stories about High School, because I keep on bringing up bad news. It’s even worse since I seem to be writing crap these days — I’m not sure I have the tools to make what I write meaningful. But it should be. So, if you could do me a favor and pretend the following had been written in such a way as to make you care, I’d appreciate it. Read on…
Blues
Feb 18, 2007
I need new clothes for the new season coming up. To be frank, I needed new clothes for the last season, but, in true LA fashion, summer seems to have come already and obviated the need for sweaters and layering. Nonetheless, I need new clothes for the new season. And I’d like it if some weren’t blue, although most often that’s the color I end up wearing. Read on… (plus 7 Comments)
Bugs Bunny Was Right!
Jan 16, 2007
You probably think that what you see in cartoons is all fake. Until two nights ago, I would have agreed with you completely. Those scenes where Wile E. Coyote steps off the edge of a cliff and his body plummets to the bottom of the canyon while his face, maudlin, stares at you? Fake. The bits where the Animaniacs bounce off everything? Fake. The part where lab mice try to take over the world every night? OK, maybe not so fake. That should’ve been my hint; the cartoons… they’re all true. I know this because, two nights ago, I slipped on a banana peel. Read on… (plus 3 Comments)
New Year's Resolutions
Jan 2, 2007
It’s an annual tradition, at this point, to make my New Year’s resolutions public and review how I did on the previous year (see: 2004, 2005, 2006). I’m all for tradition, so here goes the resolutions for 2007. Read on…
Three Pieces of Tape
Dec 24, 2006
My, my, my, my wrapping it be so hard
Makes me say oh my Lord
Christmas be buggin’ me
With a gift to wrap under the tree
It’d feel good if my tape stuck down
I fold nice square corners they turn out round
My gifts don’t look smooth
Under the tree people say ewww Read on… (plus 2 Comments)
A Few Ideas For You Dictators Out There
Dec 17, 2006
I’m an inveterate entrepreneur; I like coming up with new, crazy ideas and turning them into cool companies. Or, well, I will like someday when I’ve done it successfully. Anyway, I was a poli sci major as an undergrad, so sometimes I wonder: why is it that we don’t have any truly new and innovative approaches to how a company should work? I mean, there are plenty of countries out there that are, for all practical purposes, completely fucked. So why shouldn’t they try something crazy? Here it is then, two crazy ideas of models failed countries can try. Read on…
If It Weren't for Bad Luck I'd Have No (Good) Luck at All
Nov 30, 2006
What did you do at work today? Did you enjoy moving pieces of paper around your cubicle? Today, our society deemed I was skilled and wise enough to make potentially life-altering decisions for my fellow man. Today, society told me, yes, we just might put someone’s life in your hands. Today, I was: a juror. Read on…
Thankless
Nov 23, 2006
Is there any time that seems later than mid-evening on Thanksgiving Day? Belly full of turkey, bloodstream full of tryptophan, the dark night outside empty and still as families sit together and share plates piled high with heirloom recipies, it could be 6 or 8 or even 2 am. It’s a good time to think about the year behind and the year ahead, and to give thanks for what went well and what we dream will go even better. Unfortunately, I’m an ungrateful bastard. Another year is almost gone, there have been good times and bad, but ahead I see an unfinished journey and I can’t bring myself to be thankful for that. Read on… (plus 1 Comments)
Tweaker Cone
Oct 29, 2006
For some reason I don’t fully understand, every time I go to my neighborhood McDonald’s, there’s some methampehtamine addict waiting in line for a vanilla cone. Is it that vanilla cones are the outside equivalent of cigarettes in the joint, a convenient medium of trade in the absence of cash? Apart from the presence of cash on the outside, that is? Are McDonald’s cones a good substitute for Tylenol, now that Tylenol is a controlled substance? Is there something special in the vanilla cone itself? If so, can just anyone get a special cone, or does one have to be visibly tweaking to get the “special dip”? Either way, I’m allergic to milk, so I’ll never find out. Read on… (plus 1 Comments)
The Day the Music Died
Oct 16, 2006
I was in the midst of watching the exciting Philly-Saints game when it happened; all of a sudden, my TV screen turned black and I could hear the hard drive on my Tivo thrashing. I waite and waited for my football to return but, sadly, there was nothing but black. So I pulled the plug, gave it a moment, and then restarted. My Tivo came back to life, told me to wait a moment, then told me to wait a moment, then told me to wait a moment… Read on… (plus 2 Comments)
The Train to Lo Wu
Jul 23, 2006
When I was in high school I took a class in creative writing; at the end of the semester, I held in my hands a forty-some page computer printout of some many-times-revised writing achievement, ready for submission to some writing competition for high school students. My story, of course (coming as it did from a freshman in high school), was macabre, and, worse, it was written in a run-on style that sat somewhere between Faulkner and Sweet Valley High with all of the punctuation removed. I was proud, but, when I read my friend Blaise’s submission to that same competition his simple, clear sentences made me put aside any thought of my story receiving awards. I tried, later, to write using plainer language and clearer themes, and briefly fancied myself as having some skill; but then a new student came to my school. Jess wrote ethereal prose, each sentence stripped down to the fewest words possible, hinting only obliquely at conversation or exposition, sort of like some Zen koan from whose hidden meaning we should understand the world. I couldn’t approach Jess’s writing, and, after a few feeble attempts, I took another creative writing class and turned out a baroque and bloody term paper story that sported a sentence all of a page and a half long. It didn’t help that I was reading Joyce at the time. Read on… (plus 5 Comments)
Incipient Dissatisfaction
May 26, 2006
For the past two years, I’ve jealously guarded my weekends — guarded them from, you know, people and other similar time sucks that expect my interactive attention. And it was great. One, maybe two nights a week I’d have enough free time that I could spend it on me. You know, watch Cops, read a book, ogle attractive women, things like that, and never a second wheel to distract me from my entirely non-interactive me time.
Read on… (plus 1 Comments)
My Precioussss
May 23, 2006
I'm A Bad Man
May 7, 2006
Last night I was out with some friends; we ended up at a divey sports bar in Santa Monica. To put it briefly, it sucked, and we wanted to go across the street to a cooler bar, but one of my friends had just gotten herself a nice cool bottle of Corona. Since she was too much of a pussy to chug the beer, she stuck her beer in my chest pocket and started to prod me to smuggle her beer into the new bar. Then my other friend joined in, and how could I resist two women daring me to do a bad bad thing? So I closed my jacket over the beer and we walked across the street. I played it cool and we slipped right past the doorman and into the dance floor in the back, where I slipped out my friend’s beer and she nursed it for another 20 minutes. I’m a bad man. Read on…
The Longest Day
Feb 14, 2006
I thought I had it all day long. Everywhere I walked on campus, the undergrad chicks were checking me out. Then I realized they were all trying to read the t-shirt I was wearing, which I had brought back from Brazil. Portuguese confuses chicks, I guess, at least long enough for them to stare at me. Read on… (plus 4 Comments)
Life Makes Me Ouchy
Feb 10, 2006
OK, maybe I shouldn’t’ve had quite so much to drink at Saints & Sinners last night, but I just had to check out the new bar that’s just a couple of blocks away. Everyone needs a walking-distance watering hole,right? And I’ve never been able to pass up a martini (although, next time, back to the usual dirty).
Still, is it really necessary for the city to be tearing up the street in front Read on… (plus 4 Comments)
If You're Not Watching Battlestar Galactica...
Jan 6, 2006
You’re wasting your television. Seriously.
Lost? Phbbt. This is real suspense and tension.
(Plus, it’s on iTunes now, so you can download an episode if you missed it.)
Read on… (plus 3 Comments)New Year's Resolutions
Jan 5, 2006
There’s nothing better than belated resolutions! Well, technically there was an extensive discussion of resolutions on New Year’s Eve, but I chose not to rush from dinner directly to an Internet cafe to share them with you. Not that I don’t love you, just that I was far more focused on getting loaded. But, in a tradition reaching back two years, here are my resolutions for 2006. Read on… (plus 2 Comments)
A Sudden Epidemic
Dec 6, 2005
After years of thinking it was apocryphal, I’ve finally fallen victim to that most feared — and stereotypcial — affliction of suburbia: bellybutton lint.
Yes, all of a sudden, after years of a clean bellybutton, I find myself reaching down there to scratch an itch and digging out a little ball of miscellaneous combined fabric bits. It’s bizarre, my bellybutton has always been clean in the past, but, suddenly, as soon as I start wasting my vacation time in front of the TV, I’m lint-y. Read on… (plus 5 Comments)
How Did I Get This E-Mail?
Dec 2, 2005
The following appeared in my inbox; note the school mentioned in the signature:
Read on… (plus 2 Comments)
Thanksgiving
Nov 24, 2005
OK, so I’m stressed out and I may have bitten off too much (with predictable consequences). But it’s easy to overlook how much I have to be thankful for. It’s been a good year, and I can’t let the daily distractions (and nips) hide these from me. So what am I thankful for? Read on… (plus 2 Comments)
No Sleep 'Til Brooklyn
Nov 24, 2005
The timestamp attached to this post is a bit deceptive; I’ve actually been up since 5am. And that’s how my week’s been, folks, with the same story for the week before. It’s not generic morningsomonia, and it’s not, remarkably, a generic worry about how much I have to get done. Instead, I’ve woken up early thinking specific thoughts about specific projects, consumed by specific worries about specific deliverables. Which sucks, because, let’s face it, when you wake up at 5am and realize that Godiva Chocolates might be a good comparable for doing a valuation of Peet’s Coffee, there’s nothing that will get that idea out of your head other than logging onto OneSource and grabbing Godiva’s financials. And, when you discover that Godiva is really a subsidiary of Campbell’s Soup, well, there’s no getting back to sleep. Read on… (plus 1 Comments)
Suggestions In/Suggestions Out
Nov 13, 2005
Some time ago, I asked you all to suggest some TV shows I might watch. Y’all done good. I thought I’d return the favor with some brief feedback on your suggestions, and ask you for a few more suggestions. Read on… (plus 10 Comments)
The Me Stress Test
Oct 25, 2005
One thing about me, if you know me (and are lucky enough to come by my apartment and spend some time in front of my Outlook), it’s easy to tell how stressed out I am by looking at a few simple metrics. These metrics are:
- What I’m reading
- How may e-mails there are in my inbox Read on… (plus 2 Comments)
This Entry Has Nothing To Do With Sarajevo
Oct 8, 2005
Apparently, my friends thought it was about time I got out of the house, ‘cause Christie came all the way down from a vacation in Santa Barbara to drag me out to the Franz Ferdinand show at the Greek Theater last night. Read on… (plus 4 Comments)
I Live In a Town Filled With Stars
Oct 2, 2005
Today, I went to the supermarket — by which I mean Payless Produce, Halal Carneceria, and 89¢ store — earlier than usual, and ended up waiting in line quite some time next to a woman who claimed to be the mother of WWE star “Chris “The Master” Masters”:http://www.wwe.com/superstars/raw/chrismasters/. She was dressed for the place, in a ratty, off-the-shoulder, hot-in-1992 print sundress, to go with her probably hot-in-1988 boobs, which were rarin’ to pop out of that thing. With big, cheap, dark plastic sunglasses — probably to hide her pinpointed, tweaker pupils — overtanned skin, overeprocessed, brittle-looking long brown hair, and sexy-in-1990 pink lipstick, she leaned in too close to tell me the following, which I swear is all verbatim: Read on… (plus 1 Comments)
Hair Care Product Whore
Sep 23, 2005
Anybody who’s ever watched me primp for a date knows that I’m a total primadonna when it comes to hair care products. I like the good stuff, and I’ll spend on it (something which various of my hairstylists have loved, I’m sure). Usually, I go for some relatively cutting-edge product, then move on to the next cutting-edge product when the first one becomes hard to find anywhere outside of Sally Beauty Supply. But now it’s different. Now I look fabulous and I do it with product I got at Target — and at Target prices. Read on… (plus 1 Comments)
What Should I TiVo?
Sep 18, 2005
So it’s a new TV season, but my TiVo “Now Playing” list looks the same as ever. Nanny 911 is fun when you’re watching it with your sweetie, but, now that I’m sweetie-less, perhaps I need a little somehting with some explosions in it. Or some taut drama. Or, perhaps, good laughs. So, what do you like this year? What Season Passes should I add to my TiVo?
Read on… (plus 13 Comments)Southern Names are Special
Sep 17, 2005
I deeply love that Tenessee Volunteers’ #3 quarterback’s name is Jim Bob Cooter.
Read on… (plus 1 Comments)My Fame Spreads
Aug 29, 2005
My travel-related entry The People With The Bags has been republished on Babblog! My fame grows. Check out Babblog and grow their readership, they’re pretty cool. Amusing and stuff.
Read on…This is the kind of spontaneous publicity I need. My name in print. That really makes somebody. Things are going to start happening to me now.
Jul 27, 2005
It’s no phone book, but it’s not a bad start. My friends and unusually-talented classmates over at Babblog have, for some reason, become addled enough to publish something I wrote — in this case, a discourse on the Mojito. I think you’ll find that my article contains the same quality of content that you’ve become used to here at juniorbird.com, although the rest of Babblog may, disappointingly, actually be competently-written. Read on… (plus 5 Comments)
In God's Country
Jul 20, 2005
There’s an old joke about Texas: A Texan plays poker with the Devil. The game goes on day after day, week after week, and the stakes get bigger and bigger the whole time. One day, the Texan calls Satan’s big bet with the deed to all of Texas, whereupon the Devil throws down his royal flush, busting the Texan broke. The Texan gets ready to pack his things and move, but then the Devil disappears down a deep hole back to Hell. “Hey Satan,” yells the Texan, “aren’t you going to take my state?” “No,” replies the Devil, “I’ve spent a few weeks in Texas and, believe me, I’ve decided to live in Hell and rent out Texas.” Have I mentioned lately that I’m living in Phoenix for the summer? Have I mentioned that, given the option, the Devil would clearly live in Texas and rent out Arizona? Read on… (plus 5 Comments)
Arizona: Dangerous For Interns, Temporary Relocation
Jun 21, 2005
Are you thinking of a summer internship or temporary relocation to Arizona? Think twice, it’s dangerous. Interns and others who choose to temporarily relocate to Arizona may have to register their car in the state or be heavily fined. Even though interns and other temporary workers will only be in the state for a few weeks or months, and even though interns and other temporary workers may not qualify as residents, the police may still think you are a new resident of Arizona and may still ticket you. Read on… (plus 2 Comments)
Nostalgoo
Jun 17, 2005
For some reason, in about the middle of the afternoon, I became nostalgic for one of my past lives. For three years, I was part-owner of a Web and print design studio; during that time, I did (among other things) back-end development for Web sites. I learned, and taught others, how to write code on listservs, and, for many years, a search for “Wade Armstrong” on Google would show up my many posts. Some of them even clever and smart. But they’re slowly disappearing as old discussion lists get archived or go dark. Read on…
Caffeind
Jun 15, 2005
While in Brazil, I developed quite the taste for coffee That country’s brew was dark and thick and strong and a little burnt-tasting; in a small cup, with generous sugar, Brazilian coffee was warm, tasty, and would wake me up and keep me going. Now, before I went to Brazil I didn’t have a particular tendency to drink coffee — I prefer tea — but, when I got home, I started wanting some all the time. For the past few weeks, I’ve been drinking coffee on and off, in the hopes of finding some that compares to what I drank in São Paulo and Rio. And today that caught up with me. Read on… (plus 4 Comments)
667.7 Miles
Jun 11, 2005
My summer internship is a challenge; that’s to be expected. But living in Phoenix is also a challenge. It’s not that the city is so hot — sure, it’s over 100°, but what would you expect from the summer in the desert and, plus, I’m a Baltimoron — and it’s not the politics. The challenge is that I have to drive on the freeway, to and from work and to get just about anywhere, every day. Read on… (plus 1 Comments)
End Government Regulation!
Apr 4, 2005
A favorite conservative cause is the evil of government regulation. They rail against the economic loss caused by taxes — a loss known in economics as deadweight loss. But who ever thinks of the non-economic deadweight loss caused by government regulation? What about the most serious loss of all — daylight savings time! Yes, just yesterday, the Federal Government’s inefficient regulations caused a deadweight loss of one hour to us all! Read on… (plus 1 Comments)
Free Michael!
Mar 26, 2005
OK, it looks like Michael Jackson is going down. But it’s not his fault. It’s all of ours. Free Michael! He doesn’t know what he’s doing, we all made him coo-coo. Read on… (plus 1 Comments)
Syria And Me
Mar 4, 2005
After years of letting Syria treat Lebanon as a virutal province, our President is finally suggesting that they leave. It’s about time! If Clinton had just done the same thing, I wouldn’t have almost gotten married back in college. Read on…
My Landlord: Swinging '70s Bachelor
Mar 1, 2005
Until today, I’d not had much contact with my landlord. But, after our recent rains, he dropped by to check out the damage (old house + old roof = many leaks). As I showed him the stains and the cracking and peeling, he asked me what I was studying. I told him I was in business school, and he told me to watch out for the women, they’re in charge today. But, back in the ’70s, it turns out, he was in charge. Read on… (plus 1 Comments)
The Comedy Store: A Veritable Storehouse of Comedy
Feb 27, 2005
I generally prefer not to go out on the weekend, as such activity takes me away from the important things in life, like sitting at home in front of TiVo, eating snack foods, and spoiling the bird. Oh, and doing work. But, somehow, I ended up going out to dinner with friends and, then, to an absolutely hilarious (except for the 15 minutes of methamphetamine-addled anti-Semitism from a large white man) show at the Comedy Store, featuring Chris Rock. Read on…
The Hiking Theory of Dating
Feb 24, 2005
As someone who’s undoubtedly, and throughout my life, been uncannily successful in dating. Better at it than you, for sure. Wouldn’t you like to be as fabulous and desirable as me? I knew you would. Try the Hiking Theory of Dating.
Oh, and, if we ever dated, this entry’s not about you. It really isn’t, I promise. Read on… (plus 2 Comments)
Getting Things Done
Feb 9, 2005
So I’ve been light on the updates lately. I’ve been a busy bee, getting things done at school. Case competitions, midterms, clubs, fundraisers, networking, interviewing, and planning a start-up that I should think about for the future — these all fill up my schedule. This is a lot to do, even in business school, and some people have asked me how I get it all done. From time to time, other people have commented on my organization. So I thought I’d write down a few ways in which I keep my life (sometimes too much) under control.
Read on…
New Favorite TV Show
Jan 31, 2005
In what can only be interpreted as an attempt to further establish my geek cred, I have to say that, far and away, my favorite TV show of the new season is Battlestar Galactica. Not only has BG gained “keep until I delete” status on my TiVo, I have a seriously hard time waiting until next friday for the next episode. I need my fix, man! Read on…
Isn't It Nice To See Windows Everywhere?
Jan 3, 2005
Especially, virus-stricken, on an airport computer! Read on… (plus 1 Comments)
New Year's Resolutions
Jan 1, 2005
Another year, another [set descriptor] of [thing meaningful to you]. Read on… (plus 1 Comments)
Indian Ocen Earthquake And Tsunami: Help Out This Christmas Season
Dec 29, 2004
Much like my country, I’ve been enjoying my vacation, relaxedly resting stingy in my posting. But the coverage of the Indian Ocean earthquake and tsunami on the French TV station in my hotel are compelling and shocking. Read on…
It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
Dec 20, 2004
With those holiday greetings and gay happy meetings when friends come to call, it’s the hap-happiest season of all! Yes, that’s right, there’s holiday music blaring from the speakers of all of the stores and malls out there and I love it. I wish July could be like this. Read on…
Mmmm, Clean Car
Aug 29, 2004
One of the many small miracles I get to experience as a resident of the fine city of Los Angeles is the Handy J Car Wash, a venue offering unparalelled full service.
No, I’m not talking about hot new immigrant sex; if you look in the background of the above photo, you’ll notice that behind the cars being cleaned is the Outdoor Grill. That’s right, Handy J offers you tasty barbecue while-you-wait.
The Outdoor Read on… (plus 1 Comments)
I Am All My Nation's Colors
Aug 15, 2004
My body has quite an extensive color palette going on right now. Starting at the bottom, we have:
I got this lovely bruise from riding the mechanical bull at Union Cattle. I can only conlcude that it came from the bull spinning to the left so darned much.
Too much sun at Teamwork At Marshall day! Strangely, it never hurt.
And then there’s the teeth. Looking in the mirror one day, I thought my smile looked yellow. So I got me some Crest Read on… (plus 1 Comments)
Sic Transit Gloria Rachelle Work
Jul 19, 2004
One of about three or maybe four good things about high school for me was the school newspaper, the Postscript. I started out as a reporter my freshman year and rose through the ranks to be, during my senior year, Co-Editor-in-Chief (there were two every year) with David Andorsky. The Postscript had everything: bad puns, sexual tension and innuendo, Pizz-a-boli’s pizza, something to do of an afternoon. Plus, for about five minutes a month, the popular kids might acutally care that I’d written something.
<span Read on… (plus 2 Comments)
Friends Finale
May 8, 2004
Like about one out of five Americans, I watched the finale of Friends. And it was just awful! Truly unpleasant. Filled with uninteresting and distracting content, condescension, unnecessary titillation, and unfunny punch lines. You guessed it, I had to watch it live, not on TiVo, and sit through the ads.
I don’t know how I watched TV before TiVo. Sure, I occasionally find things on live TV that I want to watch (umm, mostly NASCAR), but usually it’s the wonderful shows Now Playing On TiVo Read on…
Sic Transit Grocery Strike
Feb 29, 2004
It looks as if our long national nightmare may be coming to an end — once again, someday soon, we will all be able to shop at our neighborhood national chain grocery store. As a consumer of foodstuffs, I find this convenient. As a consumer of financial products, I’m principally happy that I don’t own any shares of the stock of said national chain grocery store companies.
Read on…Sometimes You Complain, And Sometimes You Keep Your Mouth Shut
Feb 25, 2004
Mel Gibson’s “The Passion” is opening well, according to CNN. This is a movie that, a year ago, was dismissed as a bizarre self-indulgence by a man who had possibly gone over the deep end. Gibson was said to be pouring his own money into a film that nobody would ever see. Yet today we hear about “The Passion” on every TV news show. This little film became big because of one thing: publicity. Negative publicity, sure, but this is Hollywood, where they’ve long held no publicity is bad publicity. Protesters forgot this axiom, and have hyped Gibson’s pet project more than he ever could have.
Read on… (plus 1 Comments)The Grippe
Feb 23, 2004
Today, I was supposed to be writing an entry about how I was visiting the University of North Carolina’s Kenan-Flagler school. Instead, I’m lying on the couch, in my jammies. This is America, so it can’t be my fault that I’m sick, just because I stayed up too late and ate poorly and didn’t get exercise. Instead, I blame my co-workers who came in sick and gave their dread diseases to me.
Read on…New House: Kitchen
Jan 17, 2004
Okay, so I haven’t blogged in quite some time. I’m a bad boy. But I’ve been busy. So here, without further ado, is the kitchen. The part of the house I love and spend lots of time in. Mmmm, I’m hungry already.
There it is. It’s actually bigger than it seems — there’s plenty of room for Read on…
This Budget Should Be Terminated
Jan 11, 2004
Our new governor has proposed a new budget. It’s a challenging budget, to meet the challengingly large deficit we seem to have run up. But it’s not a very good budget. If the state were a business (and, really, it is just a specific kind of business), it would be mortgaging long-term success to reach short-term profitability. Wall Street may like that, but it doesn’t benefit buy-and-hold investors or expensive-to-train employees.
Read on…Life Is Just Like The BCS
Jan 5, 2004
This weekend, college football crowned two national champions despite an elaborate system constructed to ensure there was just one. This system did not include a playoff, much to the ire of many fans and journalists. Playoffs sure are nice: they give every team a fair chance and experimentally test a range of possible outcomes. The result is an unambiguous winner — the champion will have beat everyone who beat everyone. But life rarely gives you (or, at least, me) the chance to experimentally test one outcome against another. Life usually demands big decisions with too little information — just like the BCS. So, can carrying out a little thought experiment on how to reform the BCS reveal some things about how to build models in real-life situations?
Read on…Mo Movies Mo Problems
Jan 2, 2004
2003 was hard for many sectors of the economy. Even movies were hit hard, suffering a 4% decrease in gross as compared with last year. Why, in tough times like these, aren’t movies making money as the unemployed and underemployed escape their miserable lives through the fiction in the theater? Is it, maybe, because there are too many movies?
Read on…New Years' Resolutions
Jan 1, 2004
Every year, at about the same time we drink to excess, it’s traditional that we make ill-kept resolutions about how we’ll behave better in the future. This isn’t, frankly, usually my kind of thing. But it’s been a turbulent year, and next year can hardly be worse, so it’s worth looking ahead to the future.
So, things I hereby resolve to:
- Exercise more often
- Take a Spanish conversation class
- Use my Sur La Table gift card for cooking classes
- Learn Python
- Start Read on… (plus 1 Comments)
New House: Nook
Dec 28, 2003
My house has a nook. Technically, it’s a breakfast or a dining nook, but I didn’t put a table in there, so no eating terms can correctly be associated with it. I decided I needed this space for storing all sorts of stuff, so home to bookcase and cabinet and vacuum it became; and besides, there wasn’t room for more than just a small table there anyway. I prefer eating dinner in front of the TV when alone, and there’s great plans for a dining area that will be discussed in a later entry…
Anyway, the nook. It’s Read on…
New House: Bathroom (You Always Wanted To See My Bathroom, Didn't You?)
Dec 28, 2003
Everybody loves bathrooms. It’s the most important room in any place, when you think about it, because it’s the one room that, when you need, you really need.
Well, I love the bathroom, anyway. Please, come and visit mine.
I love my shower. It’s got a nice strong spray. Also check out the makeup mirror my Wonderful Girlfriend installed. She’s the one who’s handy with the power drill and wall anchors.
Read on… (plus 1 Comments)Guess Who's Antojado Now?
Dec 26, 2003
I love Christmas! Starting in about, oh, July, I quietly sing Christmas songs to myself. When the season comes along, I’m like a little child; I even look forward to the TV weather maps that show Santa’s position on Christmas Eve. All this regardless of the fact that I’m, technically, Jewish.
See, my mother’s Jewish and my father Methodist. When I was born, they decided not to confuse me and shuttle me between Saturday and Sunday services, so I was raised in a non-denominational way. But we still celebrated Christmas. Read on…
Well I Had To Go Eat Steak Last Night, Eh?
Dec 24, 2003
This was going to be an entry about how nice it was to visit my grandmother in Houston get a good, simple steak, from a good cut of meat, which is something it’s easy to do down here but not so easy in Los Angeles, where they persist in putting all sorts of things on a steak. But then I learned that, thanks to Mad Cow Disease, my tasty tasty meal may turn my brain to mush; so, instead, I’ll write about risk management and how the beef industry has done a bad job of it.
Read on…ReMail
Dec 7, 2003
For all its ubiquity, the Web is not the Internet’s killer app — e-mail is. Every day, more bytes of e-mail messages than bytes of html documents transit the net. Given how much most business rely on e-mail, it’s surprising how awful most e-mail clients are at organizing the daily stream of information that bombards users daily. IBM researchers have fascinating ideas about how to build a better e-mail client.
Read on… (plus 1 Comments)Goodbye, Firebird
Dec 2, 2003
After a brief but successful flirtation, I’ve been asked to uninstall Mozilla Firebird, which I had been using as my primary browser. Unfortunately (but quite reasonably), the IT department was not prepared to support (including backing up bookmarks and preferences) a new application for just one user. Now I’m back to IE at work, but I actually enjoy Firebird so much I may consider replacing Safari on my Mac at home with this new and promising browser.
Read on…This Page Will Someday Not Exist
Nov 26, 2003
Today, you can read this entry at http://wadearmstrong.com. In a few days (or, if I’m not being so productive, weeks), it’ll be pushed off the front page and into an archive page, when it will be found at an address like http://wadearmstrong.com/archives/000316.html. Links that went to the first address will start being, well, lies, since the referred content will no longer be there. And what use is that on the internet?
Read on…Presidential Homepages Violate Speed and Accessibility Guidelines
Nov 19, 2003
The folks over at Optimization Week have analyzed the Web sites of the major Presidential candidates and have found these sites to be, overall, slow and inaccessible to those with disabilities (or those who choose to use the keyboard, and not mice, to navigate; or those who choose not to load images; and so forth). Fast-loading and accessible sites aren’t unattainable goals, they’re best practices. Why is it that the candidates to lead our country are behind the curve on Web design? And, no, “it’s not important” isn’t the answer I’m looking for.
Read on…Shopping At Ralph's
Nov 16, 2003
Today, for the first time since the strike began, I shopped at Ralph’s. I wasn’t going to cross the picket line, but the strikers took the pickets away so that people like me could shop at Ralphs’ and drive a wedge between that company and the other Southland grocery stores.
Read on…Una Huelga Muy Inconveniente
Oct 13, 2003
Shopping for my weekly groceries at Whole Foods was a nightmare; the store was filled with lost, confused, inconsiderate upper-middle-class women. Of course, it was my fault for shopping on Columbus Day. It was also my fault for shopping at one of the few supermarket chains in Southern California that wasn’t surrounded by a picket line. For, you see, the supermarket checkers, stockers and baggers are on strike
I’m all for Read on… (plus 2 Comments)
The Eolas Patent Mess
Oct 7, 2003
Eolas is a company started by a former Cal prof, in partnership with UC Berkeley, to market and defend this professor’s invention of a method in which browsers can display embedded content, such as Flash and Real Media. Eolas felt that its technology was being used by Microsoft in Internet Explorer for Windows, and sued, winning its initial rounds. In response, Microsoft has modified how IE works to get around the patents Eolas holds. The result could be harmful to companies with Web sites and the companies who design Web sites.
Read on…ICANN To Verisign: Down, Boy!
Oct 3, 2003
Back in the Stone Age of the Internet, the only company you could register a .com, .net or .org domain name with was Network Solutions. Their bureaucracy was byzantine, they were slow to act, and they were expensive, but they were the only act in town.
Read on…The Greatest Workout Of My Life
Aug 27, 2003
I have a trainer at 24 Hour Fitness who challenges me to do my best in workouts and suggests exercises that really help me to build strength and endurance. My experiences with this trainer have been great and I’ve been converted to getting a trainer every time I have the chance in the future. And yesterday I had the greatest workout of my life.
I got to meet Bubba Smith.
Now, in LA it’s gauche to dote on your celebrity sightings, and it’s even worse to be all google-eyed when you meet a celeb. But I’ve Read on… (plus 1 Comments)
Now That's A birthday Party!
Aug 19, 2003
When I was six I had this big birthday party. Now, six was an age when you invited most everyone in your class to your birthday party (or, at least it was if you went to a small private school like I did). I wanted a big birthday bash and, even though my parents were not inclined to such things, I was a veritable font of ideas of things we should do. I wanted a treasure hunt with a secret map, I wanted plenty of party favors, and, most of all, I wanted paper on all the walls and lots of crayons so that everyone could draw pictures on the walls Read on… (plus 3 Comments)
Those Mexicans Are On To Something With Their Menudo
Aug 6, 2003
Last weekend I accompanied my Wonderful Girlfriend to one of her cousins’ weddings in Tijuana. I’ll admit, I was pretty intimidated thinking about it — she’s got about, oh, twelve dozen cousins (no I will not say a gross of cousins) and I anticipated meeting 90-some percent of them at this fête. Now, I’m not good with names at all (it’s inherited), and speaking to a bunch of people who’s names I can’t keep straight in a language that I, well, often can’t keep straight either, Read on… (plus 5 Comments)
Parking Lots Are Bad (But Parking Structures Are Oh So Good)
Jul 30, 2003
Earlier today I ran to Staples for some fax toner. After circling a couple of times, I found a spot in their very packed parking lot. Then i drove about 20 seconds to move to the OSH parking lot, to pick up gardening items. I had to switch spots, you see, because the two adjacent stores had nearly adjacent, (far too small) parking lots, with prominently placed “Tow Away- Customer Parking Only” signs. I didn’t want to get towed, you know.
One nice thing about malls — even strip malls — Read on…
Le Nettoyage
Jun 6, 2003
So today I cleaned part of the kitchen. Part of a whole new plan I’ve developed for myself to designate tasks around the house that I need to be doing and schedule them into free time that I’m not using to mellow out.
Now, when i was growing up, I didn’t really learn how to clean. Since as long as I can remember, my parents had someone to help out with the cleaning — reasonable since they both worked full-time. For pretty much my entire youth, until junior high or something, our maid was Charlene. I always found Read on…