Thanksgiving 2012
Nov 22, 2012 in Otherwise Uncategorized
I love looking back to see what I was thankful for in past years. Some are still amazing and important; others, joys at the time, pale in retrospect. But it’s… Read on…
Feeling Frank the Pug
Oct 11, 2012 in Otherwise Uncategorized
I’m feeling a little Frank the Pug lately. We’ve lived in the best house for the last five years; but we need more room, and it’s time to move. So… Read on…
Down 2 games to 1
Oct 10, 2012 in Otherwise Uncategorized
I sit at work in the evenings these days, watching pitch counts online. It’s no TV, but I’m rapt as I wait for the pitch speed and placement to show… Read on…
Five Fingers Update
Jul 2, 2012 in Otherwise Uncategorized
So the Vibram Five Fingers have been life-changing. Seriously, my feet havent felt this good in ten years. I’m running two miles a day and doing it with no pain…. Read on…
Dining in the Dark at Opaque Los Angeles: My Birthday Dinner
Jun 27, 2012 in Otherwise Uncategorized
When my wife asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday, dining in the dark was the first thing to pop into my head. I suppose we’ve been… Read on…
The Problem With Tech as a Hobby
Mar 21, 2012 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Is that a casually-initiated tech project less than 100% done is most often much, much less than 0% done. That chest of drawers you were half built? Useless, probabaly, but… Read on…
New Year's Resolutions 2012
Jan 28, 2012 in Otherwise Uncategorized
In years past, I’ve posted my New Year’s resolutions at the beginning of the year and then reviewed them at the beginning of the next year. While I wasn’t exactly… Read on…
A Year to be Thankful For
Nov 24, 2011 in Otherwise Uncategorized
OK, I’ll admit, I thought that last year was a big one to be thankful for, but so far 2011’s been the big one!I’m thankful for my beautiful wife, of… Read on…
Recursive Punning
Nov 3, 2011 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Once again this year, I’m going to participate in Movember to raise money for men’s health. That means that — wife willing — I’ll be growing a mustache and looking… Read on…
The Hunger Monster
Sep 11, 2011 in Otherwise Uncategorized
It’s my two year wedding anniversary. I used to hear people say things like “she’s the only one who understands me!” and I thought that was crap; how could it… Read on…
Call me Charles. Charles Bean.
Jun 25, 2011 in Otherwise Uncategorized
There comes a time in every new marriage in which the two partners must make the most momentous decision of their relationship… the decision to get a new pet. We’d… Read on…
The pup got into something in the back yard tonight
Jun 18, 2011 in Otherwise Uncategorized
The pup got into something in the back yard tonight; it was dark, so all I could see was that he was sniffing and tasting something small. So I walked… Read on…
True story: I was sitting in the middle of Downtown Culver City
Jun 2, 2011 in Otherwise Uncategorized
True story: I was sitting in the middle of Downtown Culver City, this guy was quietly fooling with his cell phone and pacing in the dark, when a woman in… Read on…
Directing Dissent -- back this movie on Kickstarter!
Mar 3, 2011 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Link: Directing Dissent — back this movie on Kickstarter! A film about one of the most influential teachers in my life, a man who asked everyone to challenge their own… Read on…
Official Juniorbird.com Picks for 83rd Oscars
Feb 27, 2011 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Being a good Angeleno, I of course have a lot to say about movies. Don’t let the small detail that I haven’t ever worked in The Industry, as we call… Read on…
How to Capture the Spirit of the Holidays
Dec 24, 2010 in Otherwise Uncategorized
If you know me really well, you probably know that I love Christmas. I love the songs, I love the decorations, I especially love the gifts — I wish I… Read on…
Have a Very Flammable Christmas
Dec 17, 2010 in Otherwise Uncategorized
You know those Christmas lights that you always hear about burning down houses? Yeah, we have those hanging up in our house.They’re called Santa Lights, and my grandparents got them… Read on…
Ready for Halloween!
Oct 29, 2010 in Otherwise Uncategorized
My wife and I were both born to sensible parents, not prone to excessive pomp and circumstance around any holiday season at all. You would think this would be ideal… Read on…
Was headed for bed, but, in the midst of cleaning up around the house, discovered a bottle of a g
Oct 10, 2010 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Was headed for bed, but, in the midst of cleaning up around the house, discovered a bottle of a good tequila and a single malt with just a drop left… Read on…
Just learned from Intervention that the center of crack use in LA is… my old shortcut to ge
Oct 6, 2010 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Just learned from Intervention that the center of crack use in LA is… my old shortcut to get to SC. Specifically, the part where I used to say “gosh, this… Read on…
Little dog, big jackal growl. (Turn up the volume and ignore the too-dark video; it’s the a
Sep 7, 2010 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Little dog, big jackal growl. (Turn up the volume and ignore the too-dark video; it’s the audio that counts!)… Read on…
For this, I blame Michael Jackson
May 16, 2010 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Today I did a big thing: I threw out all my white tube socks. All of them.I’m not sure when I decided that white was the way to go, sock-wise…. Read on…
Baby's First Oscar, Part 3
Mar 7, 2010 in Otherwise Uncategorized
What is the chance that DJ L’il Bit would hit the post button twice in a row? Apparently 100%. Anyway she - who has a Master’s in Screen and TV… Read on…
Baby's First Oscar Part 2
Mar 7, 2010 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Sorry, the wife sweetly put her hand on my knee and brushed the “Post” button. The challenges of technology. It’s actually her first blog entry ever. “Blogging’s easy!” she says.Boy,… Read on…
Baby's First Oscars
Mar 7, 2010 in Otherwise Uncategorized
It’s not weird that i’ve been in LA for 17 years and not been to an Academy Awards party, right? Finally I’m making it to one, DJ L’Il Bit has… Read on…
Is March Too Late To Make New Year's Resolutions?
Feb 27, 2010 in Otherwise Uncategorized
I used to do this thing? Where I did my resolutions for the year? It was awesome. Instead, this year, I re-launched my blog. We won’t get into how silly… Read on…
There's No Place Like Homepage For The Holidays
Dec 13, 2009 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Two years ago I introduced the Juniorbird.com t-shirts; they’re back this year, the same classic designs on new, great shirt options, for your last-minute holiday shopping needs. That’s right, if you like the somewhat-snappy textual stylings you’ve seen here on Juniorbird.com, you can now carry them with you all day long, on your chest, where all one’s opinions and feelings should be worn. (It’s better than on your sleeve.) Read on…
Official 2009 Holiday Kitchen Buyer's Guide
Dec 3, 2009 in Food, Otherwise Uncategorized
I like to cook. You may have read. Any chef loves their gadgets, and, being a geek, I do so more than most. While I do tend to think that the solution to almost any problem is technology, I don’t like to keep things around that don’t really, really work. Since it’s the holiday season, and that means getting stuff for both of the major world religions of which I am a member, here are a few such gadgets I suggest you put on your wish list this year. For your online shopping convenience, I’ve included links to buy all these goodies at Amazon, which incidentally gives a smidge of the price of your purchase to me, at no cost to you. I’ve also tried to pick reasonably-priced entry-level options, for particular holiday season. Read on…
The Only Problem With Not Having a Land Line is Knowing What Number to Give at the Grocery
Nov 8, 2009 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Now that I live in a blended household, I find myself using our phone number at checkout counters to save the few percent that some loyalty program gives. In the old days, this would’ve been an easy job: type our happy home’s phone number into that swipe-your-credit-card-and-sign pad and we’re done. But, like the modern kids we are, we’re cell phone-only and our happy is phone number-free. Read on…
The One-Man Tivo
Jun 26, 2009 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Have you noticed how many shows Gordon Ramsay has these days? For weeks at a time it seems like we watch nothing but his shows: Kitchen Nightmares, Kitchen Nightmares UK, Hell’s Kitchen, you know the story. The thing is: they’re all good. Gordon Ramsay makes for good TV! And now he’s got a new show (well, new in the US): The F Word, and I seem to be watching that one every night too. Read on…
Two Engaged People and a Cup
Jun 24, 2009 in Otherwise Uncategorized
So this wedding thing has been pretty much a full-time job. Ceremony, reception, DJ, flowers, dress, tux — the list goes on and on. There’s so much to get done, we haven’t even gotten to pick where we’re going for our honeymoon. Fortunately, we got one important thing done: we’ve set up our registry. Read on…
Clarifying a Photo From The Past
Apr 29, 2009 in Otherwise Uncategorized, Photos
Last year, there was a small confusion about a photo published on this site. In particular, a regular reader thought that a ring previously displayed on DJ L’il Bit’s hand was an engagement ring — a reasonable enough thought, since it’s a pretty ring, but I wouldn’t buy her a $35 ring from Overstock.com for that purpose. I thought that was worth clarifying, especially since… well, I’ll let the photo here speak for itself: Read on…
Belated Resolutions
Jan 25, 2009 in Otherwise Uncategorized
So, I’m a little behind this year — usually I have my resolutions up in the first week of the year or so. Frankly, one of my problems lately has been commitment to blogging, and I was slow getting to this post because of that. Well, I bet that shows up on my resolutions! So, on to the usual format. Read on…
Down the Up Staircase
Mar 15, 2008 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Had a nice service for my friend Rick earlier today. Driving home, I came out of the strip mall flats of Inglewood and through the tangle of I-405 on-ramps and suddenly the sky was bright and a bank of cotton candy-fluffy white clouds sat just to my west, halfway to the ocean. Read on…
Another Year, Another Resolution
Jan 4, 2008 in Otherwise Uncategorized
I really do like the tradition of New Year’s resolutions. Heck, I like it enough I’ve done it four years in a row now Life presents us with many daily challenges and, let’s face it, keeps most of us busy. Making resolutions around now can really help get the old head above the trees, to see the forest. I could use that, especially after the last year. So, in the ol’ Juniorbird tradition, here’s last year’s resolutions reviewed and some new ones for 2008. Read on…
Let's A-Wassail!
Dec 23, 2007 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Earlier today, as I was shopping in the HEB with my parents, I found myself overcome with the season. Well, not so much with the season as with the music. I’ve been without my music since I came to Houston, although, technically, that’s only because I’m too stubborn to listen to Pandora without my good speakers plugged in. Anyway, the carols playing over the HEB’s PA system put a smile on my face, and suddenly I was singing along. Read on…
Orage
Dec 22, 2007 in Dreams, Otherwise Uncategorized
The night Rick died, his ex called me in the middle of the night to tell me. But her voicemail was unintelligible; and I was already up. I’d been up for an hour, and I’d spent that whole time in terror. Because I was sure he was coming to get me.
Read on…
Jamie Lynn Spears is Pregnant
Dec 19, 2007 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Can you believe that both Britney and her sister have managed to have unplanned kids? Can you believe that Brit’s mom was going to write a book on how to raise a celeb family? Read on…
Livin' on the Edge
Nov 25, 2007 in Otherwise Uncategorized
I’m a dangerous man; I live under an alias. Or, technically, I live under a misspelling that the DMV inserted into my middle name when I got a California driver’s license back in ‘93. Did you ever check your license to see if your name was spelled right? Well, were I to have a police record, mine would have an AKA on it! That’s right, I’m officially one of those rugged, sexy bad boys now! Read on…
For Your Holiday Consideration
Nov 16, 2007 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Joyous Kwanzaa. Whatever your holiday, we at Juniorbird.com want to share it with you. That’s why this year, for the first time, I’m proud, very proud, to announce the official Juniorbird.com t-shirts. These beautiful shirts let you take all of the fun of Juniorbird.com with you, wherever you go. So, please, invite us into your homes this holiday season, and share us with your family.
Read on…
The Smell, or Something of Fear
Oct 23, 2007 in Otherwise Uncategorized
The AIG and I went to a Haunted House last weekend. It was kind of a lark — we were having a night on the town, walking down the street, and there was an empty ticket line for a haunted house. Seemed rather season-appropriate, so we went in. And then the AIG shivered in anticipated fear as we made our way to the head of the line to get in, and screamed her way through the (admittedly very well-done) haunted house. Read on…
Sanford and Me
Sep 26, 2007 in Otherwise Uncategorized
I had to move the trash to leave the house the other morning. Not my trash; I may occasionally put up with a bit more mess around the house than I should, but fundamentally I’m a guy who color-codes and labels everything. No, it’s my neighbor, My little alley has turned into a caricature straight out of Sanford and Son. Read on…
Is it That Time of Year Again?
Sep 18, 2007 in Otherwise Uncategorized
It may be just that nature is teasing me — as I probably deserve — but it seems as if the weather’s changing the last few days. The I-wish-I-had-an-air-conditioner season is hopefully passing into the part of the year that makes friends from back east wax poetic about LA. Summer is lovely — and I even enjoyed the beach this year — but nothing says comfy like needing a throw blanket to go with your couch. Read on…
Representin'
Aug 11, 2007 in Otherwise Uncategorized
For some reason, very few things make a home look bad to me as a fridge whose light has burnt out. To me, it says “I just don’t care about having a pleasant, maintained place to live.” I mean, you go into the fridge several times every day, right? So it’s not like you can avoid noticing it.
Of course, with an attitude like that, my fridge light would burn out. For the last week, I’ve had a nice, ghetto kitchen with a darkened fridge. Très Palms. Read on…
We Hold These Truths to be Self-Evident, That Things Should Go Boom in the Sky Every 4th of July
Jul 5, 2007 in Otherwise Uncategorized, Photos
I don’t really have an entry here; I just schlepped my camera along with me as I enjoyed my fourth of July, and I thought I’d share it with you all. Now, some might say that I should’ve schlepped a tripod, too, what with the night pictures of fireworks and all, but those people would be spending waaay too much time thinking ahead and waaay too little time getting out of the house. OK, normally that’s me, but for once I thought I’d just go for it.
Read on…
Attack of the Lightbulbs
Jun 28, 2007 in Otherwise Uncategorized
About a month ago, my desk lamp in my office quit working. I figured it burnt out, so I changed the lightbulb, but there was no more light with the new bulb than with the old. Sadly, I classified my ’50s-style lamp as dead. Then, today, the light in my kitchen went out. I replaced the bulb but: nothing. So I washed the dishes in the dark, and vowed to call the landlord tomorrow, when he was in the office. Read on…
Radio Free Palms
May 19, 2007 in Otherwise Uncategorized
The rest of you are not lucky enough to have personalized radio that plays just for you. That’s a pity, because good ‘ol over-the-air radio is going away, and there’s nothing like these simple, non-digital broadcasts to make you feel at home. And, by over-the-air, I mean bellowed out by your neighbor at all hours of the day or night.
Read on…
Run-On
Apr 5, 2007 in Otherwise Uncategorized
As the weather turns from winter to spring, so a young man’s fancy turns to more stimulating pursuits. Running, that is. It’s beautiful out, the sun is shining, the air is as clear as it’s going to get in LA, new buds are everywhere — I want to run and see the world. Read on…
Santa Barbara Winery 2000 Sauvignon Blanc
Mar 19, 2007 in Food, Otherwise Uncategorized
I’ve been drinking a lot more wine lately — about a bottle a week. I’ve always enjoyed wine, and it was finally time to learn about it, which means trying a lot. I have little storage room, so there’s not much space for me to keep around bottles that I don’t plan to drink soon; but there are two bottles that have been taking up precious wine rack space for a while now.
Read on…
Goodbye, Mr. Lakin
Mar 18, 2007 in Otherwise Uncategorized, True Life Stories
I think I need to write more nice stories about High School, because I keep on bringing up bad news. It’s even worse since I seem to be writing crap these days — I’m not sure I have the tools to make what I write meaningful. But it should be. So, if you could do me a favor and pretend the following had been written in such a way as to make you care, I’d appreciate it. Read on…
Blues
Feb 18, 2007 in Otherwise Uncategorized, Writing Practice
I need new clothes for the new season coming up. To be frank, I needed new clothes for the last season, but, in true LA fashion, summer seems to have come already and obviated the need for sweaters and layering. Nonetheless, I need new clothes for the new season. And I’d like it if some weren’t blue, although most often that’s the color I end up wearing. Read on…
Bugs Bunny Was Right!
Jan 16, 2007 in Otherwise Uncategorized
You probably think that what you see in cartoons is all fake. Until two nights ago, I would have agreed with you completely. Those scenes where Wile E. Coyote steps off the edge of a cliff and his body plummets to the bottom of the canyon while his face, maudlin, stares at you? Fake. The bits where the Animaniacs bounce off everything? Fake. The part where lab mice try to take over the world every night? OK, maybe not so fake. That should’ve been my hint; the cartoons… they’re all true. I know this because, two nights ago, I slipped on a banana peel. Read on…
New Year's Resolutions
Jan 2, 2007 in Otherwise Uncategorized
It’s an annual tradition, at this point, to make my New Year’s resolutions public and review how I did on the previous year (see: 2004, 2005, 2006). I’m all for tradition, so here goes the resolutions for 2007. Read on…
Three Pieces of Tape
Dec 24, 2006 in Otherwise Uncategorized
My, my, my, my wrapping it be so hard
Makes me say oh my Lord
Christmas be buggin’ me
With a gift to wrap under the tree
It’d feel good if my tape stuck down
I fold nice square corners they turn out round
My gifts don’t look smooth
Under the tree people say ewww Read on…
A Few Ideas For You Dictators Out There
Dec 17, 2006 in Otherwise Uncategorized
I’m an inveterate entrepreneur; I like coming up with new, crazy ideas and turning them into cool companies. Or, well, I will like someday when I’ve done it successfully. Anyway, I was a poli sci major as an undergrad, so sometimes I wonder: why is it that we don’t have any truly new and innovative approaches to how a company should work? I mean, there are plenty of countries out there that are, for all practical purposes, completely fucked. So why shouldn’t they try something crazy? Here it is then, two crazy ideas of models failed countries can try. Read on…
If It Weren't for Bad Luck I'd Have No (Good) Luck at All
Nov 30, 2006 in Otherwise Uncategorized
What did you do at work today? Did you enjoy moving pieces of paper around your cubicle? Today, our society deemed I was skilled and wise enough to make potentially life-altering decisions for my fellow man. Today, society told me, yes, we just might put someone’s life in your hands. Today, I was: a juror. Read on…
Thankless
Nov 23, 2006 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Is there any time that seems later than mid-evening on Thanksgiving Day? Belly full of turkey, bloodstream full of tryptophan, the dark night outside empty and still as families sit together and share plates piled high with heirloom recipies, it could be 6 or 8 or even 2 am. It’s a good time to think about the year behind and the year ahead, and to give thanks for what went well and what we dream will go even better. Unfortunately, I’m an ungrateful bastard. Another year is almost gone, there have been good times and bad, but ahead I see an unfinished journey and I can’t bring myself to be thankful for that. Read on…
Tweaker Cone
Oct 29, 2006 in Otherwise Uncategorized
For some reason I don’t fully understand, every time I go to my neighborhood McDonald’s, there’s some methampehtamine addict waiting in line for a vanilla cone. Is it that vanilla cones are the outside equivalent of cigarettes in the joint, a convenient medium of trade in the absence of cash? Apart from the presence of cash on the outside, that is? Are McDonald’s cones a good substitute for Tylenol, now that Tylenol is a controlled substance? Is there something special in the vanilla cone itself? If so, can just anyone get a special cone, or does one have to be visibly tweaking to get the “special dip”? Either way, I’m allergic to milk, so I’ll never find out. Read on…
The Day the Music Died
Oct 16, 2006 in Otherwise Uncategorized
I was in the midst of watching the exciting Philly-Saints game when it happened; all of a sudden, my TV screen turned black and I could hear the hard drive on my Tivo thrashing. I waite and waited for my football to return but, sadly, there was nothing but black. So I pulled the plug, gave it a moment, and then restarted. My Tivo came back to life, told me to wait a moment, then told me to wait a moment, then told me to wait a moment… Read on…
The Train to Lo Wu
Jul 23, 2006 in Otherwise Uncategorized
When I was in high school I took a class in creative writing; at the end of the semester, I held in my hands a forty-some page computer printout of some many-times-revised writing achievement, ready for submission to some writing competition for high school students. My story, of course (coming as it did from a freshman in high school), was macabre, and, worse, it was written in a run-on style that sat somewhere between Faulkner and Sweet Valley High with all of the punctuation removed. I was proud, but, when I read my friend Blaise’s submission to that same competition his simple, clear sentences made me put aside any thought of my story receiving awards. I tried, later, to write using plainer language and clearer themes, and briefly fancied myself as having some skill; but then a new student came to my school. Jess wrote ethereal prose, each sentence stripped down to the fewest words possible, hinting only obliquely at conversation or exposition, sort of like some Zen koan from whose hidden meaning we should understand the world. I couldn’t approach Jess’s writing, and, after a few feeble attempts, I took another creative writing class and turned out a baroque and bloody term paper story that sported a sentence all of a page and a half long. It didn’t help that I was reading Joyce at the time. Read on…
Incipient Dissatisfaction
May 26, 2006 in Otherwise Uncategorized
For the past two years, I’ve jealously guarded my weekends — guarded them from, you know, people and other similar time sucks that expect my interactive attention. And it was great. One, maybe two nights a week I’d have enough free time that I could spend it on me. You know, watch Cops, read a book, ogle attractive women, things like that, and never a second wheel to distract me from my entirely non-interactive me time.
Read on…
My Precioussss
May 23, 2006 in Otherwise Uncategorized
I'm A Bad Man
May 7, 2006 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Last night I was out with some friends; we ended up at a divey sports bar in Santa Monica. To put it briefly, it sucked, and we wanted to go across the street to a cooler bar, but one of my friends had just gotten herself a nice cool bottle of Corona. Since she was too much of a pussy to chug the beer, she stuck her beer in my chest pocket and started to prod me to smuggle her beer into the new bar. Then my other friend joined in, and how could I resist two women daring me to do a bad bad thing? So I closed my jacket over the beer and we walked across the street. I played it cool and we slipped right past the doorman and into the dance floor in the back, where I slipped out my friend’s beer and she nursed it for another 20 minutes. I’m a bad man. Read on…
The Longest Day
Feb 14, 2006 in Otherwise Uncategorized
I thought I had it all day long. Everywhere I walked on campus, the undergrad chicks were checking me out. Then I realized they were all trying to read the t-shirt I was wearing, which I had brought back from Brazil. Portuguese confuses chicks, I guess, at least long enough for them to stare at me. Read on…
Life Makes Me Ouchy
Feb 10, 2006 in Otherwise Uncategorized
OK, maybe I shouldn’t’ve had quite so much to drink at Saints & Sinners last night, but I just had to check out the new bar that’s just a couple… Read on…
If You're Not Watching Battlestar Galactica...
Jan 6, 2006 in Otherwise Uncategorized
You’re wasting your television. Seriously. Lost? Phbbt. This is real suspense and tension. (Plus, it’s on iTunes now, so you can download an episode if you missed it.)… Read on…
New Year's Resolutions
Jan 5, 2006 in Otherwise Uncategorized
There’s nothing better than belated resolutions! Well, technically there was an extensive discussion of resolutions on New Year’s Eve, but I chose not to rush from dinner directly to an Internet cafe to share them with you. Not that I don’t love you, just that I was far more focused on getting loaded. But, in a tradition reaching back two years, here are my resolutions for 2006. Read on…
A Sudden Epidemic
Dec 6, 2005 in Otherwise Uncategorized
After years of thinking it was apocryphal, I’ve finally fallen victim to that most feared — and stereotypcial — affliction of suburbia: bellybutton lint. Yes, all of a sudden, after… Read on…
How Did I Get This E-Mail?
Dec 2, 2005 in Otherwise Uncategorized
The following appeared in my inbox; note the school mentioned in the signature:
Read on…
Thanksgiving
Nov 24, 2005 in Otherwise Uncategorized
OK, so I’m stressed out and I may have bitten off too much (with predictable consequences). But it’s easy to overlook how much I have to be thankful for. It’s been a good year, and I can’t let the daily distractions (and nips) hide these from me. So what am I thankful for? Read on…
No Sleep 'Til Brooklyn
Nov 24, 2005 in Otherwise Uncategorized
The timestamp attached to this post is a bit deceptive; I’ve actually been up since 5am. And that’s how my week’s been, folks, with the same story for the week before. It’s not generic morningsomonia, and it’s not, remarkably, a generic worry about how much I have to get done. Instead, I’ve woken up early thinking specific thoughts about specific projects, consumed by specific worries about specific deliverables. Which sucks, because, let’s face it, when you wake up at 5am and realize that Godiva Chocolates might be a good comparable for doing a valuation of Peet’s Coffee, there’s nothing that will get that idea out of your head other than logging onto OneSource and grabbing Godiva’s financials. And, when you discover that Godiva is really a subsidiary of Campbell’s Soup, well, there’s no getting back to sleep. Read on…
Suggestions In/Suggestions Out
Nov 13, 2005 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Some time ago, I asked you all to suggest some TV shows I might watch. Y’all done good. I thought I’d return the favor with some brief feedback on your suggestions, and ask you for a few more suggestions. Read on…
The Me Stress Test
Oct 25, 2005 in Otherwise Uncategorized
One thing about me, if you know me (and are lucky enough to come by my apartment and spend some time in front of my Outlook), it’s easy to tell how stressed out I am by looking at a few simple metrics. These metrics are:
- What I’m reading
- How may e-mails there are in my inbox Read on…
This Entry Has Nothing To Do With Sarajevo
Oct 8, 2005 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Apparently, my friends thought it was about time I got out of the house, ‘cause Christie came all the way down from a vacation in Santa Barbara to drag me out to the Franz Ferdinand show at the Greek Theater last night. Read on…
I Live In a Town Filled With Stars
Oct 2, 2005 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Today, I went to the supermarket — by which I mean Payless Produce, Halal Carneceria, and 89¢ store — earlier than usual, and ended up waiting in line quite some time next to a woman who claimed to be the mother of WWE star “Chris “The Master” Masters”:http://www.wwe.com/superstars/raw/chrismasters/. She was dressed for the place, in a ratty, off-the-shoulder, hot-in-1992 print sundress, to go with her probably hot-in-1988 boobs, which were rarin’ to pop out of that thing. With big, cheap, dark plastic sunglasses — probably to hide her pinpointed, tweaker pupils — overtanned skin, overeprocessed, brittle-looking long brown hair, and sexy-in-1990 pink lipstick, she leaned in too close to tell me the following, which I swear is all verbatim: Read on…
Hair Care Product Whore
Sep 23, 2005 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Anybody who’s ever watched me primp for a date knows that I’m a total primadonna when it comes to hair care products. I like the good stuff, and I’ll spend on it (something which various of my hairstylists have loved, I’m sure). Usually, I go for some relatively cutting-edge product, then move on to the next cutting-edge product when the first one becomes hard to find anywhere outside of Sally Beauty Supply. But now it’s different. Now I look fabulous and I do it with product I got at Target — and at Target prices. Read on…
What Should I TiVo?
Sep 18, 2005 in Otherwise Uncategorized
So it’s a new TV season, but my TiVo “Now Playing” list looks the same as ever. Nanny 911 is fun when you’re watching it with your sweetie, but, now… Read on…
Southern Names are Special
Sep 17, 2005 in Otherwise Uncategorized
I deeply love that Tenessee Volunteers’ #3 quarterback’s name is Jim Bob Cooter…. Read on…
My Fame Spreads
Aug 29, 2005 in Otherwise Uncategorized
My travel-related entry The People With The Bags has been republished on Babblog! My fame grows. Check out Babblog and grow their readership, they’re pretty cool. Amusing and stuff…. Read on…
This is the kind of spontaneous publicity I need. My name in print. That really makes somebody. Things are going to start happening to me now.
Jul 27, 2005 in Otherwise Uncategorized
It’s no phone book, but it’s not a bad start. My friends and unusually-talented classmates over at Babblog have, for some reason, become addled enough to publish something I wrote — in this case, a discourse on the Mojito. I think you’ll find that my article contains the same quality of content that you’ve become used to here at juniorbird.com, although the rest of Babblog may, disappointingly, actually be competently-written. Read on…
In God's Country
Jul 20, 2005 in Otherwise Uncategorized
There’s an old joke about Texas: A Texan plays poker with the Devil. The game goes on day after day, week after week, and the stakes get bigger and bigger the whole time. One day, the Texan calls Satan’s big bet with the deed to all of Texas, whereupon the Devil throws down his royal flush, busting the Texan broke. The Texan gets ready to pack his things and move, but then the Devil disappears down a deep hole back to Hell. “Hey Satan,” yells the Texan, “aren’t you going to take my state?” “No,” replies the Devil, “I’ve spent a few weeks in Texas and, believe me, I’ve decided to live in Hell and rent out Texas.” Have I mentioned lately that I’m living in Phoenix for the summer? Have I mentioned that, given the option, the Devil would clearly live in Texas and rent out Arizona? Read on…
Arizona: Dangerous For Interns, Temporary Relocation
Jun 21, 2005 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Are you thinking of a summer internship or temporary relocation to Arizona? Think twice, it’s dangerous. Interns and others who choose to temporarily relocate to Arizona may have to register their car in the state or be heavily fined. Even though interns and other temporary workers will only be in the state for a few weeks or months, and even though interns and other temporary workers may not qualify as residents, the police may still think you are a new resident of Arizona and may still ticket you. Read on…
Nostalgoo
Jun 17, 2005 in Otherwise Uncategorized
For some reason, in about the middle of the afternoon, I became nostalgic for one of my past lives. For three years, I was part-owner of a Web and print design studio; during that time, I did (among other things) back-end development for Web sites. I learned, and taught others, how to write code on listservs, and, for many years, a search for “Wade Armstrong” on Google would show up my many posts. Some of them even clever and smart. But they’re slowly disappearing as old discussion lists get archived or go dark. Read on…
Caffeind
Jun 15, 2005 in Otherwise Uncategorized
While in Brazil, I developed quite the taste for coffee That country’s brew was dark and thick and strong and a little burnt-tasting; in a small cup, with generous sugar, Brazilian coffee was warm, tasty, and would wake me up and keep me going. Now, before I went to Brazil I didn’t have a particular tendency to drink coffee — I prefer tea — but, when I got home, I started wanting some all the time. For the past few weeks, I’ve been drinking coffee on and off, in the hopes of finding some that compares to what I drank in São Paulo and Rio. And today that caught up with me. Read on…
667.7 Miles
Jun 11, 2005 in Otherwise Uncategorized
My summer internship is a challenge; that’s to be expected. But living in Phoenix is also a challenge. It’s not that the city is so hot — sure, it’s over 100°, but what would you expect from the summer in the desert and, plus, I’m a Baltimoron — and it’s not the politics. The challenge is that I have to drive on the freeway, to and from work and to get just about anywhere, every day. Read on…
End Government Regulation!
Apr 4, 2005 in Otherwise Uncategorized
A favorite conservative cause is the evil of government regulation. They rail against the economic loss caused by taxes — a loss known in economics as deadweight loss. But who ever thinks of the non-economic deadweight loss caused by government regulation? What about the most serious loss of all — daylight savings time! Yes, just yesterday, the Federal Government’s inefficient regulations caused a deadweight loss of one hour to us all! Read on…
Free Michael!
Mar 26, 2005 in Otherwise Uncategorized
OK, it looks like Michael Jackson is going down. But it’s not his fault. It’s all of ours. Free Michael! He doesn’t know what he’s doing, we all made him coo-coo. Read on…
Syria And Me
Mar 4, 2005 in Otherwise Uncategorized
After years of letting Syria treat Lebanon as a virutal province, our President is finally suggesting that they leave. It’s about time! If Clinton had just done the same thing, I wouldn’t have almost gotten married back in college. Read on…
My Landlord: Swinging '70s Bachelor
Mar 1, 2005 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Until today, I’d not had much contact with my landlord. But, after our recent rains, he dropped by to check out the damage (old house + old roof = many leaks). As I showed him the stains and the cracking and peeling, he asked me what I was studying. I told him I was in business school, and he told me to watch out for the women, they’re in charge today. But, back in the ’70s, it turns out, he was in charge. Read on…
The Comedy Store: A Veritable Storehouse of Comedy
Feb 27, 2005 in Otherwise Uncategorized
I generally prefer not to go out on the weekend, as such activity takes me away from the important things in life, like sitting at home in front of TiVo, eating snack foods, and spoiling the bird. Oh, and doing work. But, somehow, I ended up going out to dinner with friends and, then, to an absolutely hilarious (except for the 15 minutes of methamphetamine-addled anti-Semitism from a large white man) show at the Comedy Store, featuring Chris Rock. Read on…
The Hiking Theory of Dating
Feb 24, 2005 in Otherwise Uncategorized
As someone who’s undoubtedly, and throughout my life, been uncannily successful in dating. Better at it than you, for sure. Wouldn’t you like to be as fabulous and desirable as me? I knew you would. Try the Hiking Theory of Dating.
Oh, and, if we ever dated, this entry’s not about you. It really isn’t, I promise. Read on…
Getting Things Done
Feb 9, 2005 in Otherwise Uncategorized
So I’ve been light on the updates lately. I’ve been a busy bee, getting things done at school. Case competitions, midterms, clubs, fundraisers, networking, interviewing, and planning a start-up that I should think about for the future — these all fill up my schedule. This is a lot to do, even in business school, and some people have asked me how I get it all done. From time to time, other people have commented on my organization. So I thought I’d write down a few ways in which I keep my life (sometimes too much) under control.
Read on…
New Favorite TV Show
Jan 31, 2005 in Otherwise Uncategorized
In what can only be interpreted as an attempt to further establish my geek cred, I have to say that, far and away, my favorite TV show of the new season is Battlestar Galactica. Not only has BG gained “keep until I delete” status on my TiVo, I have a seriously hard time waiting until next friday for the next episode. I need my fix, man! Read on…
Isn't It Nice To See Windows Everywhere?
Jan 3, 2005 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Especially, virus-stricken, on an airport computer! Read on…
New Year's Resolutions
Jan 1, 2005 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Another year, another [set descriptor] of [thing meaningful to you]. Read on…
Indian Ocen Earthquake And Tsunami: Help Out This Christmas Season
Dec 29, 2004 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Much like my country, I’ve been enjoying my vacation, relaxedly resting stingy in my posting. But the coverage of the Indian Ocean earthquake and tsunami on the French TV station in my hotel are compelling and shocking. Read on…
It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
Dec 20, 2004 in Otherwise Uncategorized
With those holiday greetings and gay happy meetings when friends come to call, it’s the hap-happiest season of all! Yes, that’s right, there’s holiday music blaring from the speakers of all of the stores and malls out there and I love it. I wish July could be like this. Read on…
Mmmm, Clean Car
Aug 29, 2004 in Otherwise Uncategorized
One of the many small miracles I get to experience as a resident of the fine city of Los Angeles is the Handy J Car Wash, a venue offering unparalelled… Read on…
I Am All My Nation's Colors
Aug 15, 2004 in Otherwise Uncategorized
My body has quite an extensive color palette going on right now. Starting at the bottom, we have: I got this lovely bruise from riding the mechanical bull at Union… Read on…
Sic Transit Gloria Rachelle Work
Jul 19, 2004 in Otherwise Uncategorized
One of about three or maybe four good things about high school for me was the school newspaper, the Postscript. I started out as a reporter my freshman year and… Read on…
Friends Finale
May 8, 2004 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Like about one out of five Americans, I watched the finale of Friends. And it was just awful! Truly unpleasant. Filled with uninteresting and distracting content, condescension, unnecessary titillation, and… Read on…
Sic Transit Grocery Strike
Feb 29, 2004 in Otherwise Uncategorized
It looks as if our long national nightmare may be coming to an end — once again, someday soon, we will all be able to shop at our neighborhood national… Read on…
Sometimes You Complain, And Sometimes You Keep Your Mouth Shut
Feb 25, 2004 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Mel Gibson’s “The Passion” is opening well, according to CNN. This is a movie that, a year ago, was dismissed as a bizarre self-indulgence by a man who had possibly… Read on…
The Grippe
Feb 23, 2004 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Today, I was supposed to be writing an entry about how I was visiting the University of North Carolina’s Kenan-Flagler school. Instead, I’m lying on the couch, in my jammies…. Read on…
New House: Kitchen
Jan 17, 2004 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Okay, so I haven’t blogged in quite some time. I’m a bad boy. But I’ve been busy. So here, without further ado, is the kitchen. The part of the house… Read on…
This Budget Should Be Terminated
Jan 11, 2004 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Our new governor has proposed a new budget. It’s a challenging budget, to meet the challengingly large deficit we seem to have run up. But it’s not a very good… Read on…
Life Is Just Like The BCS
Jan 5, 2004 in Otherwise Uncategorized
This weekend, college football crowned two national champions despite an elaborate system constructed to ensure there was just one. This system did not include a playoff, much to the ire… Read on…
Mo Movies Mo Problems
Jan 2, 2004 in Otherwise Uncategorized
2003 was hard for many sectors of the economy. Even movies were hit hard, suffering a 4% decrease in gross as compared with last year. Why, in tough times like… Read on…
New Years' Resolutions
Jan 1, 2004 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Every year, at about the same time we drink to excess, it’s traditional that we make ill-kept resolutions about how we’ll behave better in the future. This isn’t, frankly, usually… Read on…
New House: Nook
Dec 28, 2003 in Otherwise Uncategorized
My house has a nook. Technically, it’s a breakfast or a dining nook, but I didn’t put a table in there, so no eating terms can correctly be associated with… Read on…
New House: Bathroom (You Always Wanted To See My Bathroom, Didn't You?)
Dec 28, 2003 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Everybody loves bathrooms. It’s the most important room in any place, when you think about it, because it’s the one room that, when you need, you really need. Well, I… Read on…
Guess Who's Antojado Now?
Dec 26, 2003 in Otherwise Uncategorized
I love Christmas! Starting in about, oh, July, I quietly sing Christmas songs to myself. When the season comes along, I’m like a little child; I even look forward to… Read on…
Well I Had To Go Eat Steak Last Night, Eh?
Dec 24, 2003 in Otherwise Uncategorized
This was going to be an entry about how nice it was to visit my grandmother in Houston get a good, simple steak, from a good cut of meat, which… Read on…
ReMail
Dec 7, 2003 in Otherwise Uncategorized
For all its ubiquity, the Web is not the Internet’s killer app — e-mail is. Every day, more bytes of e-mail messages than bytes of html documents transit the net…. Read on…
Goodbye, Firebird
Dec 2, 2003 in Otherwise Uncategorized
After a brief but successful flirtation, I’ve been asked to uninstall Mozilla Firebird, which I had been using as my primary browser. Unfortunately (but quite reasonably), the IT department was… Read on…
This Page Will Someday Not Exist
Nov 26, 2003 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Today, you can read this entry at http://wadearmstrong.com. In a few days (or, if I’m not being so productive, weeks), it’ll be pushed off the front page and into an… Read on…
Presidential Homepages Violate Speed and Accessibility Guidelines
Nov 19, 2003 in Otherwise Uncategorized
The folks over at Optimization Week have analyzed the Web sites of the major Presidential candidates and have found these sites to be, overall, slow and inaccessible to those with… Read on…
Shopping At Ralph's
Nov 16, 2003 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Today, for the first time since the strike began, I shopped at Ralph’s. I wasn’t going to cross the picket line, but the strikers took the pickets away so that… Read on…
Una Huelga Muy Inconveniente
Oct 13, 2003 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Shopping for my weekly groceries at Whole Foods was a nightmare; the store was filled with lost, confused, inconsiderate upper-middle-class women. Of course, it was my fault for shopping on… Read on…
The Eolas Patent Mess
Oct 7, 2003 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Eolas is a company started by a former Cal prof, in partnership with UC Berkeley, to market and defend this professor’s invention of a method in which browsers can display… Read on…
ICANN To Verisign: Down, Boy!
Oct 3, 2003 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Back in the Stone Age of the Internet, the only company you could register a .com, .net or .org domain name with was Network Solutions. Their bureaucracy was byzantine, they were slow to act, and they were expensive, but they were the only act in town. Read on…
The Greatest Workout Of My Life
Aug 27, 2003 in Otherwise Uncategorized
I have a trainer at 24 Hour Fitness who challenges me to do my best in workouts and suggests exercises that really help me to build strength and endurance. My… Read on…
Now That's A birthday Party!
Aug 19, 2003 in Otherwise Uncategorized
When I was six I had this big birthday party. Now, six was an age when you invited most everyone in your class to your birthday party (or, at least… Read on…
Those Mexicans Are On To Something With Their Menudo
Aug 6, 2003 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Last weekend I accompanied my Wonderful Girlfriend to one of her cousins’ weddings in Tijuana. I’ll admit, I was pretty intimidated thinking about it — she’s got about, oh, twelve… Read on…
Parking Lots Are Bad (But Parking Structures Are Oh So Good)
Jul 30, 2003 in Otherwise Uncategorized
Earlier today I ran to Staples for some fax toner. After circling a couple of times, I found a spot in their very packed parking lot. Then i drove about… Read on…
Le Nettoyage
Jun 6, 2003 in Otherwise Uncategorized
So today I cleaned part of the kitchen. Part of a whole new plan I’ve developed for myself to designate tasks around the house that I need to be doing… Read on…