Published Oct 29, 2005

Life is a series of lessons, often painful and traumatic. It’s at times like these that we need to write down the lessons we learn so that we don’t have to undergo these trials again. Simple, clear lessons can often be distilled from life’s most awful experiences, and set down, for review as we all strive and grow.

Of course, sometimes those lessons come from alcohol, friends, and excessively loud music. Then they’re just fun. Here’s what I learned at the Marshall Halloween party.

20. I can find your name, on one of four lists covering more than 400 people, in just minutes.

19. 1-piece costumes = no bathroom breaks.

18. Man + suit + box + bow = “God’s Gift to Women.”

17. In style: vaguely bondage-ish leatherish outfits. Not in style: bringing you non-MBA-student partner to Marshall parties.

16. Many women will promise to be pirates, but most will, in fact, come as faeries.

15. Business school students will wait in a calm and orderly line outside in the cold, without complaining, until the club gets under capacity.

14. The ad-hoc Devil Costume Union will be incapable of organized action.

13. Asian girls make great Naughty Cops, apparently.

12. Being blasted makes you a better MC, Kim.

11. Not a costume: All the alcohol on the back bar. No matter how much you flash us your panties.

10. Brazilians disappear immediately.

9. If you lose your Fantanas, there will be a complete extra set for your convenience. However, one may be male (although he will have the best legs of them all).

8. There is no 8.

7. There will be plenty of Marilyn Monroes, including an Asian one and two men.

6. Dorothy and Vance are exactly Margot and Richie Tenenbaum.

5. If you dress as a stripper pole, women you don’t know will dance on you.

4. Orange hair makes anyone look great.

3. If you’re hot and blonde, “Fantasy Football” is a costume.

2. Only gay boys know recognize Donnie Darko on sight.

1. I need to get out more!


Thanks for the props (I think). Two of my favorite movies: Marty really nailed Kip. And great job by a gorgeous korean woman to become nerdy white boy.

That’s great! I need a digital camera with a flash.

I’m not so sure #2 is correct. But… what are you trying to tell us? :)

Everybody thought I was from the Karate Kid.

I was hoping to deflect any concerns with #3.

Well, yea, DD and KK ARE pretty similar movies. lol. Shame on them.