Three Pieces of Tape

Published Dec 24, 2006

My, my, my, my wrapping it be so hard
Makes me say oh my Lord Christmas be buggin' me With a gift to wrap under the tree It'd feel good if my tape stuck down I fold nice square corners they turn out round My gifts don't look smooth Under the tree people say ewww

I told you homeboy, can't wrap this
Yeah, that's how I wrap it and ya know, Can't wrap this Look in my eyes, I can't wrap this Christmas presents look crinkled and wonky, I can't wrap this

New paper and bows
I got em like that now I wrap with those But it don't come out neat And six hours later from wrappin' I'm beat Ribbons nor bows stay on Use half a roll of tape and still nothin' won't stick on Like that, like that Cold screwin' it up so fall on back This whole thing it's turned to crap And this is a present I can't wrap

Yo I told you, can't wrap this
Why I'm cryin' here man, can't wrap this Yo better teach this sucker how to, can't wrap this

Give me a box or gift bag
Can't make 'em look precise that's why I'm sad Now you know Why every Christmas my gifts 'neath the tree I'm shy to show Paper ain't right Corners don't lie flat so tape 'em up tight Somehow I could learn What it's gonna take to quiet my concern It looks so bad It will make the gift recipient sad

I'm sad because you know
Can't wrap this Can't wrap this Break it down! Stop! Cryin' time!

Go with the flow it is said
But if I can't wrap gifts I'd rather I were dead This same story every year I need a professional wrapper down here This is it for this winter Learn from this and I could be a winner Next smooth fold that junk Press it down nice it won't look like a chunk

Darn darn darn damn, I can't wrap this
Look man, can't wrap this My gifts all get trashed yo, 'cause I know I can't, can't wrap this Face turns red, gifts look bad, I break down Can't wrap this Can't wrap this Can't wrap this I break down Stop! Cryin' time!

Every time you see my presents they don't look square
That such shapes are possible you were not aware Now why would I want to keep doing this With others wrappin straight, crisp beautiful gifts I've wrapped near everything from clothes balls to books It's wonky all crinkly super wrinkly eww crooked my gifts just don't got the looks

Can't wrap this
Can't wrap this Can't wrap this Yeah, Can't wrap this I told you, can't wrap this Fat thumbs can't wrap this Get me outta here, I can't wrap this

With apologies to MC Hammer and musical artists in general

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