Published Mar 2, 2007

When I graduated from business school, I of course got the photos from the official photographer of me walking up to the podium in my mortarboard and of me shaking hands with some muckety-muck. I mean, the hired photog gets all the best angles, so there’s no fighting it. Some things, however, there should be fighting. Some things are so awful, so in bad taste, that they threaten to infect an entire room with their evil. And the official photographer is trying to pitch just such a thing. I give you the lucite statue that could be me:

Dear WADE,

Bob Knight Photo is pleased to offer a fun new way to display your special moments from graduation: Statuettes. A Statuette is your full-color image brought to life in a 3-D acrylic cut-out with a stand for display. Each statuette is unique due to our precision laser cutting technique. The flag pose and close-up pose work especially well for this product. It is perfect to sit on your desk or give as a special reminder of commencement!

We have arranged two convenient ways for you to place your
order for unique graduation photographs and products:

1. Order online today! Go to! Your PIN is xxxx.
2. Call us at xxx-xxx-xxxx! We have Customer Service Representatives ready to assist you with
your order.

Bob Knight Photo is proud to offer this service to you. If we can be of any further assistance, please contact us at xxx-xxx-xxxx.

Once again, congratulations on your achievement!


The Staff at Bob Knight Photo

Copyright © 2006 Bob Knight Photo, Inc.

Images may not be reproduced without written permission.

Phone: 800-261-2576 | Fax: 850-574-0985 | E-mail:

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I will see this horror in my dreams. In my dreams, folks. And please, let me ask you all, my readers, not to get lucite busts of yourselves made. It’s just, you know, in bad taste. Egads.

1 Comment

Please get one. Please, oh, please get one. I would pay a pretty little penny each time I came to your house just for the laugh and I bet others would ante up as well. Your new business plan, perhaps?

By the way: who is the poor girl who allowed her picture to be used in the promo and what the heck did she get in return? More than a free 3×5, I hope.

By the other way: this would be pretty sweet if you could put whatever picture you wanted on the bust. Junior or Jake in a Lucite cap and gown would be just right.