Published Oct 27, 2007

Thank you for appearing in every commercial break during UFC fights. I really appreciate how you tell me I’m “doin’ it well” as you inform me about Rhapsody, the subscription music service brought to you by everyone’s favorite software maker.

I have to admit, however, I’m not sure that “well” is exactly the adjective you want to use in that song there. I mean, doin’ it well? Gosh, thanks coach. I’m glad to hear I’ll get an “above average” on my report card. Couldn’t you have come up with a more eloquent word? It is, after all. the center of the entire premise of your hit song, Do it Well1 I’ll admit that I’m no lyricist, but there might have been some opportunity either for some sort of simile-type usage, or, perhaps, coining a new word in the Hip-Hop tradition.

But, then, I realize you had a unique aesthetic in the Do it Well video. I mean, what with the larger women, and the transvestite dancers, and whatnot. Plus the fact that you appear to have no lips. (Generally, lips are a darker tone than skin. Not sure why you chose lipstick that makes the two tones match, although it is an… innovative look. Especially for someone with famous lips.)

And that brings me to another point… why Rhapsody puts this ad on during Mixed Martial Arts fights. Does your music really appeal to guys that much?2 Does the whole thing with you throwing men around the video really appeal to guys that much? Or is it just that a company that makes a product that nobody wants doesn’t understand how to deliver an ad to an audience to which that ad will appeal?

Or, perhaps, has the UFC has become a chick sport? If so, this is a great time to be a man.

1 Revolutionarily enough, the premise is that the unnamed subject of the song does things well, unlike other men, thus making J-Lo want to spend time with him.

2 I know the AIG likes to watch UFC with me, but, let’s face it, she’s fundamentally a guy. Just a hot one.

4 Comments

Re: footnote 2, does this mean you’re gay? I never would’ve guessed!

No, just that the AIG, while being both female and hot, is one of the guys. You should see her chug!

Auros Careful making too much fun of my boyfriend — I might have to come up north to beat you up with my new Krav Maga moves. Not that Im one of the guys or anything. ;)

i applaud her for the proper grammar. to me that’s more surprising than these commercials appearing during UFC.