Published Mar 7, 2010

What is the chance that DJ L’il Bit would hit the post button twice in a row? Apparently 100%. Anyway she - who has a Master’s in Screen and TV writing from USC - says that every story comes in three acts anyway, so that makes this kind of appropriate, anyway. Hmmmm, maybe I should study story structure.

Anyway, now we’re on to the dancing bits. I’m not sure I go to the Academy Awards for the dancing.

All the girls said “oooo” for Bradley Cooper. Everyone alway says he’ll be the next big star. But he keeps getting upstaged.

Wow, all those documentaries look incredible. I should watch more documentaries.

Terrifying temporary DirecTV outage! But it’s back. Is this what it’s like to live in New York?

Further proof that the Snuggie’s cool. Thanks, Tyler Perry!

Pedro Almodóvar and Quentin Tarantino: puttin all the anti-establishment wacky ones in one place at one time, huh? And announcing the foreign language films… You’re not fooling me, Academy.

Poor Argentine guy, trying to keep up in his second or third language.

I know Avatar’s the favorite to win, but that excerpt didn’t make me want to watch it. I am thoroughly bored by the concept of the movie.

Wow, to best actor now? Awesome.

Wow, Michelle Pfeiffer just warmed Jeff Bridges’s heart.

George Clooney’s girlfriend: jealous!

Nobody loves anybody the way Michelle loves Jeff, eh?

How did Jeremy Renner have a 20-year career? Did he start in utero? I need to follow his skin-care regimen.

I don’t know why Jeff wasn’t nominated or The Men Who Stare At Goats, he was tons of fun there. In fact, he played the guy who’s giving this speech right now.

Good insight from another guest here: Jeff Bridges and his wife have the same hair!

Apple is selling the heck out of the iPad here. Nobody in the room wants one. (I don’t think anyone in the room is in the target demo.) Apple fail: the iPhone autocorrect doesn’t know the name of the iPad.

Best Actress smackdown: Meryl Streep and Helen Mirren are sure winners. Who takes this one?

OH SURE, GABOUREY SIDIBE GETS OPRAH TO ANNOUNCE HER. Somebody has already won.

What is Sean Penn talking about? Didn’t somebody script this bit?

Again: if, a few years ago somebody told you that Sandra Bullock would even be nominated for an Oscar, you would’ve laughed. Awesome speech, too.

OK, really, there’ve been no women or African-Americans who’ve won the Academy Award? Moviemaking needs a Rooney Rule.

I just want to say to Kathryn Bigelow, I was the one guy who bought the K-19 DVD, I really liked that movie.

What was that shake of the head, James Cameron? Jealous? Oh, well you are now that your ex-wife just beat you for most everything, eh?

I had the lead in points there for a minute. Just a minute. Now my score defines the line where somebody says ” What’s the lowest score? Did anybody get less than [Wade’s score]?”

OK, now there are a lot of movies I should see… I wouldn’t bet on that though. Despite the fact that movies just aren’t that important to me, this Oscar party was more fun than I’d expected. The whole show was more watchable than I’d expected. And blogging the whole time allowed me to easily avoid interacting with most people and, now, cleaning up. I guess I should pitch in. Or, at least, not stand in the middle of the kitchen.