Juniorbird.com — A Sudden Epidemic

Published Dec 6, 2005

After years of thinking it was apocryphal, I’ve finally fallen victim to that most feared — and stereotypcial — affliction of suburbia: bellybutton lint.

Yes, all of a sudden, after years of a clean bellybutton, I find myself reaching down there to scratch an itch and digging out a little ball of miscellaneous combined fabric bits. It’s bizarre, my bellybutton has always been clean in the past, but, suddenly, as soon as I start wasting my vacation time in front of the TV, I’m lint-y. I wonder if it’s a sign.

I hope that this doesn’t sink my shot with the girls.

Comments

“I hope that this doesn’t sink my shot with the girls.” Bellybutton lint does not hurt your chances at all. Blogging about it, however…

Posted by: Vance | December 6, 2005 4:01 PM

I kinda figured that, since they’d eventually learn that I love to watch Cops that I might as well scare them off now.

Posted by: juniorbird | December 6, 2005 6:13 PM

Incidentally, I’m a little frightened by the Google ad for “carpet cleaners” that seems to be contextually served to this page. Is that really the solution I’m stuck with?

Posted by: juniorbird | December 6, 2005 6:16 PM

girls who cant handle your lint-filled crevices should be shot. repeatedly.

Posted by: harlykwin714 | December 6, 2005 7:43 PM

belly button lint is actually super hot and don’t allow anyone to tell you otherwise. an ex and i would actually transfer our own belly button lint into the other’s belly button. then we would giggle. now that was true intimacy.

the relationship eventually went down in flames but don’t let that ruin the bigger point of the story. your dream girl will embrace your lint as if it were her own.

Posted by: milla | December 7, 2005 10:57 AM

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