Published May 19, 2007
The rest of you are not lucky enough to have personalized radio that plays just for you. That’s a pity, because good ‘ol over-the-air radio is going away, and there’s nothing like these simple, non-digital broadcasts to make you feel at home. And, by over-the-air, I mean bellowed out by your neighbor at all hours of the day or night.
My radio comes with songs — sometimes sung, sometimes whistled. It comes with commentary, typically on the difficulty of carrying out home improvement projects. It comes with alarms to get me up in the morning, usually ringing out with the dulcet tones of sheet metal striking concrete (as you might expect from radio, the listeners aren’t consulted on what wake-up time is).
My radio even has call-in shows. “Do you want anything from Home Depot?” “Will you go in on some Mexicans with me to clean up the driveway?” “You need anything from the liquor store?” “Do you think that [other neighbor’s] latest request is valid?” Yes, from the comfort of my own bed or sofa, and with a little lung power, I can make my voice heard on some of today’s vital issues.
My radio is great. It’s amusing, in a manner alternately reminiscent of Kafka, Camus, and Swift. It’s always on. And, best of all, it’s live. Radio Free Palms. Catch it!
You forgot to mention the dinner-hour programming. Those reports are particularly exceptional because they happen precisely when you sit down for a meal. No matter if dinner is at 7:00 pm or 10:30 pm, you can always count on them!