Published Aug 14, 2008

The dog was acting quite proud earlier today. Since he had recently barked at some people walking past the house, I thought nothing of it; but then I noticed the empty bag of onions on the floor next to him. The bag of onions that, last I checked it, held a rather sizeable red onion. And the dog, looking so proud, seated right next to the empty bag.

The onion is not on the kitchen floor. It’s not on the living room floor — not even under the sofas. It’s not next to the dog’s bowl, and he didn’t put it near the birdcage, you know, to frame the parrot. I didn’t check the backyard but let’s face it that onion doesn’t need to be dug up twice. He can’t have moved it far; his breath smells like angels, not like onions from holding the big bulb between his teeth as he carried it. For the same reason, and, perhaps, because the genus canis is more compelled by meat than by vegetables, I think we can theorize that the dog did not eat it.

So, internet, where did that dog hide that onion?


Keiun has a weird thing for onions, too; she likes to sniff and paw at whole onions (fortunately she is too small to actually carry one off, or even get her jaw open wide enough to bite into one, which I doubt she’d enjoy), and if you drop a bit of onion skin on the floor when you’re peeling one, she’ll go wild batting it around.

my guess is the yard. my puppy pinko would bury all sorts of things in the yard when i was looking, including CDs and panties.

Perhaps Jake gave it to his other family, who we theorize must live under the bushes behind the house where he spends hours every day. Then I guess I could predict backyard onions, to go with our backyard basil!