Why is it That a Pet Almost Dies at Every Party I Hold?

Nov 1, 2008 in Photos, Will Somebody Please Explain To Me...

So at the Housewarming Party the dog walked out the front door, took a left turn, and went absentmindedly exploring down the block. A neighbor a few houses down fortunately recognized him and came by carrying the little guy. Let me tell you that finding a black dog in the middle of the night did not sound like a good bet at the time and we were sure happy to see the pup. Then, as we were setting up for last night’s combined Halloween/AIG’s Birthday party, a Cooper’s Hawk suddenly swept down from the sky gunning straight for Junior. Read on…

Hello Internet, Can You Tell Me Where the Dog Hid the Onion?

Aug 14, 2008 in Will Somebody Please Explain To Me...

The dog was acting quite proud earlier today. Since he had recently barked at some people walking past the house, I thought nothing of it; but then I noticed the empty bag of onions on the floor next to him. The bag of onions that, last I checked it, held a rather sizeable red onion. And the dog, looking so proud, seated right next to the empty bag. Read on…

Why Isn't There a Place to Find Out About LAPD Chases in Real Time?

Aug 29, 2007 in Will Somebody Please Explain To Me...

OK, let me lead this one off by clarifying. I often joke that I live in the ghetto; at the same time, I’ve never felt unsafe in my neighborhood. Everyone’s nice. That said, there’s either a high-speed chase going right by here or an LAPD chopper hovering over here once a month. And what do I ever hear about it? It’s not in the LA Times (they only have a blog to cover murders, and even that’s a day behind), it’s not on KCAL 9. But, gosh, it seems to be important enough at the moment, given the number of sirens I hear and what I imagine is the cost of keeping a chopper in the air. Read on…

Waiter, Where's My Fashion Plate?

Jul 19, 2007 in Will Somebody Please Explain To Me...

Two years of school and two years of startup haven’t left me with a big clothing budget. I’d like to take what I own rather further than it’s going currently. But, as I contemplate radical things like not getting my dress shirts starched so that I can have one of these “casual” looks, I’m having trouble finding sources for good fashion ideas. Read on…

Will Somebody Please Explain to Me to Whom to Complain About My Health Insurance Premium

Feb 1, 2007 in Will Somebody Please Explain To Me...

I am Annoyed Consumer. The people at Blue Cross — normally I would say fine people, but not in this case — have raised my rates. Now, I’m aware that there’s this thing called “inflation” and this other thing called “progress” and that, sometimes, these conspire to make health insurance premiums go up. But somehow I don’t think that a 20% increase is representative of the core health care inflation rate. Read on…

Will Somebody Please Explain to Me What the SVN vs. CVS Thing Is?

Sep 27, 2006 in Will Somebody Please Explain To Me...

I discovered CVS at the very beginning of this century, when I was doing Web dev. Getting past revisions? Diff? Little notes on what changes I’d made? Life-saver. Even after leaving the industry, I kept much of my work in CVS, because revisions and branching are useful even for binary file formats, such as Word .docs or Photoshop .psds. Read on…

Will Somebody Please Explain To Me What The Heck Is Up With Spam These Days?

Apr 21, 2006 in Will Somebody Please Explain To Me...

Was a time when the spam that flooded my mailbox was real spam, giving me the specifics on how to gain a few inches where it counts or lose weight or get OEM software or whatever. These days, I don’t know what’s going on. To get around the filters, spammers put every letter on its own line or throw in meaningless filler words or use eye-munging obfuscation in the hopes that my spam filter won’t figure out that h00d1a is a common spam word but that I will grok that it is a weight-loss product. Read on…

Will Somebody Please Explain to Me Why They Put the Lane Markers the Long Way at the Pool?

Apr 19, 2006 in Will Somebody Please Explain To Me...

I like it when the pools are set up with 25-meter lengths. It’s easy to gut it through just one more length when they’re that short, and the 25-meater lengths give twice as many lanes as do the 50-meter length. Sure, with a circuit you can easily fit four people in a 50-meter lane, but, for us marginally-fit trying-to-get-in-shape swimmers, we’re not really consistent enough to kee pfrom running into each other, so it’s lane-splitting or bust. Read on…