Best Renew The Library Books
Mar 31, 2008
Waiting in line to check out my new book, I realized I’d forgotten to bring back the overdue book that I owed. Checking in my pocket, I only had a few Mexican coins — two large five-peso coins, a small three-peso coin, two tiny two-peso coins, and a medum-sized one peso coin. She’d take them.
Read on… (plus 2 Comments)
And This Just In: Generalissimo Francisco Franco is Still Dead
Mar 12, 2008
We — that is, myself, the various madly-retreating Spanish Nationalist troops with which I was traveling, and Generalissimo Francisco Franco — were trudging through a lightly-forested area of gently rolling and quite verdant hills. The sky was clear and the sun bright, but we didn’t expect the three Republican fighters that appeared in the distance, charging towards us. Read on… (plus 3 Comments)
Orage
Dec 22, 2007
The night Rick died, his ex called me in the middle of the night to tell me. But her voicemail was unintelligible; and I was already up. I’d been up for an hour, and I’d spent that whole time in terror. Because I was sure he was coming to get me.
Read on… (plus 3 Comments)
Like a Drowned Cat
Dec 14, 2006
My third cat, Percy, we got from a farm in Western Maryland when I was in 7th grade. Out of a barn or not, Percy looked like an Abyssinan with the coat of a Russian Blue. When we first got him, I held Percy on my lap as we drove him home; he sat bolt upright and peered out the window for the whole trip. About 20 minutes in, he peed on me, the good, solid, sustained pee that comes from holding it in for a while and then finally letting go when you need to. Read on… (plus 1 Comments)
Intergalactic Colonization
Aug 18, 2005
Humans had gone to the stars, filled with hope, and colonized one planet, many light-years away from Earth. But, as we entered the universe, we made enemies, and one of these enemies attacked earth and rendered it uninhabitable. Read on… (plus 1 Comments)
All The President's Scandals
Jun 12, 2005
While on the campaign trail, I thought I would take a break and see an old friend for dinner. My car drove me and my chief of staff along the 1, up the curves of the coast, to a restaurant on the top of a small rise overlooking the Pacific. Inside, we ate a grand gourmet repast. Read on…
This Dream Would Make More Sense If I Watched More TV
Nov 25, 2004
I am on the starship Enterprise, from the Next Generation TV show (a fine show, even if certain people think it’s boring). We find a spaceship (is it an alternative Enterprise? I’m not sure) stuck in between two dimensions, partially in ours and partially in another. This ship moves close to us to transfer its crew over; “it must be so horrible to be trapped between dimensions, they’ll try anything,” says Captain Picard.
Their ship touches ours, at the bottom Read on…
Cowboy Revenge
Jun 29, 2004
Four rustlers shot my brother, so I had to track them through the dusty southwest to exact my revenge; in parallel, a posse rode after the rustlers to catch and hang them. Several times, I came close to finding the rustlers; each time, I ran into their beautiful sister, and we drank whisky together in the dry heat. Finally, we fell in love.
I chased the rustlers into an underground cave, where we shot it out; I killed some of them but they shot me as well as they fled from the cave. I rolled into the cave entrance to hide and bleed; the Read on… (plus 1 Comments)
Bad Driver
May 8, 2004
The dream started out in the hardware store. I don’t remember anything about what I shopped for, because the important part came after I left the store and went to my car in the parking lot. I put my Lexus in drive but went nowhere. More gas, still nothing. Again, and I started rolling. I pulled out of my parking spot, and started to break, but, again, nothing — I kept rolling, into a little hatchback, pushing that car through the front of the hardware store. After offering my apologies to the Latino driving the hatchback, I got into Read on…
The Passion of the Dream
Apr 22, 2004
Somehow, I’ve managed to miss everybody’s favorite new movie, The Passion of the Christ. I actually considered seeing it over the weekend, but, instead, I ended up seeing “Goodbye Lenin”. My brain apparently decided that I should have seen The Passion instead, because I had a dream I was watching the movie.
Actually, I think the dream was about a dream sequence in the movie, a scene which I’m sure doesn’t exist but which I, clearly, would have included in the movie.
In this Read on…
Doctor's Office
Dec 2, 2003
I had to make a visit to the doctor’s office, so I climbed the stairs to the fourth floor of the building. I’d been to this office before, and I hated going — at the top of the stairs was a railing, and I had to climb over this railing and walk along a thin ledge jutting out next to a four-story drop in order to get to the hallway the doctor’s office was on. When I got to the top several people were climbing over the rail to go to the doctor, but I suddenly became very scared as I approched the railing. A nice blonde technician Read on…
Am I Evil?
Sep 9, 2003
My family was out of the house, and, as a young teenager, I wanted to be a bad boy. So I peed in the tub. In dreams, peeing in the tub is apparently surprisingly enjoyable. Later, my little brother, who’s just such a goody-two-shoes, was taking a bath in the tub and I decided to pee in there again. I straddled the tub and peed against the top wall of the tub, near my brother’s head. So he wouldn’t get directly peed upon, my brother took a deep breath and went underwater, while my pee ran down the wall of the tub and into the Read on…
Morningsomnia
Jul 19, 2003
For the past week or so, I’ve been waking up — regardless of what time I go to sleep — at sometime between 5 and 6 am. I’m tired, but I’ve slept enough off that I’m wired and can’t get back to sleep. If I do stuff for about an hour, maybe two, I work off some of that nervous energy and can go back to sleep (thus this post).
See, I’m big on sleep. I love it, and it loves me back. I’m an 8 hours guy, every night, maybe 10 or 12 once on the weekend. Sure, I can do less and feel fine if Read on… (plus 1 Comments)
Picking Up My Girlfriend
Jul 10, 2003
It’s a beautiful sunny afternoon and I’m walking through a public park. On one side of me is a golf course; on both sides, the grass is green in that way it only gets on the east coast when it’s summer and the light is diffracted by the humidity. But it’s not hot and humid, it’s pleasant. I’m walking along a two-lane paved road passing through the park, I’m wearing my comfy hiking boots and I’m happily tooling down one hill and up the next, for it is a rather hilly park. I’m waiting for my Read on… (plus 1 Comments)
Ghost World
Jul 8, 2003
So, as prologue, the house I grew up in was haunted (probably more on that later). One of the loci of supernormal behavior was a large room on the third floor, and probably the attic that connected to that room.
In this dream, I was living in this house with my current roommates. I had the whole third floor (a bedroom, the big haunted room, and a bathroom) to myself. We were planning to move out to a new, smaller, ranch-style house, with just one shower that we used to wash cans of vegetable soup down the drain. The smaller house had Read on…
I Musta Slept On It Funny Or Something...
May 31, 2003
I had the weridest dream last night! Unexpected, new dream too.
I was in a college (but I wasn’t in college, see? It wasn’t my college. Maybe I came back to it? I think I was visiting a friend’s class…). I was in a class taught by a fairly young male professor, possibly a young version of the one from Good Will Hunting or possibly that guy from My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Northern Exposure. I’d brought Junior to class for some kind of show-and-tell (it was a discussion class, not a lecture class). Read on…