Hi, This is My Old Blog

Nov 9, 2013 in Meta

Hi! Welcome to Juniorbird.com. My name’s Wade, and this was my blog from 2001-2013. It was about, well, me, and you can probably learn a lot about me and my journey over that decade-plus period. I’ve pulled out a few of the best entries below, covering a wide variety of topics. In the right column, you’ll find some travelogues I wrote on a few vacations I took over that time; I’m pretty proud of that writing as well. Enjoy!

You can find my new stuff at KaizenDad. Read on…

How to Archive Your Old Blog

Nov 8, 2013 in Meta

I’ve had this blog for twelve years, and during those twelve years it’s lived on many different platforms. It started on something home-baked, switched to Movable Type, then lived on Tumblr, and finally made its home on Wordpress. When it came time to wind things down, I knew I wanted everything in one place. This is how I made that permanent archive. Read on…

An Unexpected End to the Story

May 5, 2013 in Junior

The namesake of this blog is an umbrella cockatoo named Junior. Junior picked me back in June of 1998, and we spent 15 years being best friends. But, when the… Read on…

Best Of

Enjoy these entries — some of my favorites, and some of the most popular as measured by search engine traffic. If you want to read more, see the archives to the right.

The Time My Wife Almost Called the Cops On My Gas

When your farts are bad enough your spouse almost calls the feds on you... this is the story of my intestinal distress, illustrated. Read on...

Paging Gen. Suharto, Gen. Suharto to the Arab League

Remember the Arab Spring? The uprising in Libya? I called all that, with specificity, ahead of time. Read on.... (Bonus: also called the situation in Syria.)

Leadership Training With The Marines At Camp Pendleton

When I was in business school, I had the opportunity to take a leadership training course at Camp Pendleton from the Marines. It was life-changing and I think every businessperson should take a course like it. Relive that weekend with me! Read on...

Three Pieces of Tape

I can't wrap (gifts). Or rap. Therefore, I made a rap about wrapping. To the dulcet tones of MC Hammer's "Can't Touch This." You'll never get it out of your head! Read on...

Death and Taxes

The Republicans are always saying the taxes are too high. The Democrats are always saying the taxes are to something something something because the Democrats never communicate well. I use math and actual statistics to see if they're too high or too low in California; the answer — with proof! — may surprise you. Read on...

Fun In The Boys' Locker Room, Featuring Matt and Alex

This is the entry that receives by far the most search traffic on this blog. Not nearly as gay as it sounds, much to the disappointment of said traffic; it's about elementary school and bullies and being a rat. Read on...

Hey, I Had a Wedding, That Must Mean I'm an Expert on Yours, Right?

I once planned a whole wedding in 14 weeks. It turned out great! This is how I did it, and how you can have an awesome wedding too. Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.

In Which My Faith In Humanity is Renewed

I used to live on a block with a lot of gang members. They were actually all pretty nice guys. Read on...

The People With The Bags

The worst people in air travel today, the people who try to bring their massive overstuffed steamer trunks on airplanes and expect they'll fit in the infant-sized overhead bins. Read on...

Chemical Warfare Chili

My favorite chili recipe. Has a little something for everyone: meat; beans; spice. Warning: Will clean out the house while you make it. Read on...

Who's the Smartest Man in the House?

I compare a parrot; a 15lb black dog; myself; and an inanimate man carved from a coconut, to see who is the smartest in the house. Unsurprisingly, I come up wanting.Read on...

How to Pass Your Krav Maga Yellow Belt Test

The Krav Maga yellow belt test is 6 hours long. Here's how to make it through. Hey, maybe you'll even pass, like my wife and I did!Read on...

How to Get Your Stuff Back From TSA Lost-and-Found in Los Angeles

A top reason searchers come to this blog, this is also a really useful post about how to find TSA's well-hidden LAX lost-and-found. Read on...

Jack Welch Gives Straight Talk About Winning

I got to hear Jack Welch speak once. This was shortly after he left GE, and well before he became a "personality"; back then, he had some meaningful stuff to say for businesspeople. Read on...

Me vs. the Snooze Button

Sometimes in this blog, I reveal too much about myself. This is one of those times. The true confession of one thing that makes me different from almost everyone in the world. Read on...

Wade Eats So You Don't Have To: Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt, Asian Experience Flavor

I found the awesomest energy drink at the 99-cent store. I wanted to share the experience with you. Yes, you personally. Read on...

Delicious Meatless Low-Carb Lasagna

Terrifyingly, you can make a delicious lasagne-like product by substituting tofu for the cheese. This is how. It turns out delicious and will be a big winner with your freaky California-style friends. Read on...

Big Day for a Bird

The namesake of this blog learns a new word, makes a crow friend, and enjoys the outdoors... on video! I don't do a lot of video, but this is pretty cute. Read on...

Wade Eats so You Don't Have To: Doritos Loco Taco from Taco Bell

We've all heard of these Doritos Loco Tacos; this is the true story of what they're like, at no risk to yourself.Read on...

Remembrance of Parrots Past

It takes a lot of parrots to make a parrot owner. These are the parrots I've known, and how they contributed to making me Junior's dad for a while. Read on...

Me vs. Breakfast

If you weren't shocked enough by the Snooze Button article above, this one will really prove to you how deeply un-American I am. I'm sorry, I love our country and all it stands for... I just can't stand breakfast for dinner. Read on...

A Few Ideas For You Dictators Out There

Why aren't there more really different business models for countries out there? Some ways that one could construct a country to arbitrage the talent of the prisoners other countries incarcerate. Read on...

Nobody Consulted the Interspecies Council on This Daylight Savings Time Thing

Daylight Savings Time? It doesn't make a lot of sense in California, where the days are the same length and the seasons are the same temperature. It makes even less sense if you're a parrot. Read on...

Confessions of a Failed Musician

It may be that I'm not fated to be a musician. In fact, you might count yourself lucky if you haven't heard me make music; I'm just no good. It isn't, however, for lack of trying. Read on...

In Which My Toddler Learns a New Word

Not a real toddler, but a parrot, which is essenially a permanent toddler. What word does he learn to say and then independently decide to use for evil? Find out here! Read on...

Just Souper

For those winter days, these are some of my favorite soups to warm the bones. Includes a delicious recipe for a cauliflower soup that is indulgent, healthy, and will serve as a main dish! Read on...

Hello Internet, Can You Tell Me Where the Dog Hid the Onion?

The mystery of a missing vegetable and a very guilty-looking dog. Where oh where is that onion? Also, a fine photo illustrating said situation. Read on...

Me, Meet Box

Everybody loves a personality test, right? This post includes two! Bonus: you learn who I am, deep down. Read on...

Christmas Morning

The ugly truth is that my Christmas gifts came not under a tree, but under a little potted poinsettia under the front window of an apartment. Read on...

Men Wearing The Wrong Collars Make Me Sad

I'm a little bit of a fashionista. What's wrong with looking good? Nothing! Here's a hot tip about shirt collars for all you businesswear-wearing guys out there. Read on...

Oh I Love The Electoral College, Yes I Do

Every four years, everyone complains about the Electoral College and how it makes our Presidential election undemocratic. Guess what: I think all those people hate America. Read on...

The Affair of the Bottle

Perhaps not my greatest entry of all time, but I had to take this chance to talk more about my childhood nemesis: the Friends School of Baltimore, and their relentless commitment to conformity. Read on...

Introducing the 2010 Juniorbird.com Official T-Shirt

Remarkably, far more pet-related content than t-shirt related content. Find out about the often-underappreciated fourth pet in the family! And buy cool shirts. Read on... (Like that t-shirt? Here's a previous year's)

Going Once, Going Twice, Sold to the Trojan Who Bid 700 Points For That One Course

In many business schools, you pick your course schedule by bidding on the classes you want most to take. This has its advantages, but I have an idea of a better way to do it. Read on...

The Greatest Workout Of My Life

Featuring a Baltimore Colts great. In fact, far more about this Baltimore Colts great than any working out. But I met this great at the gym! Read on...

Have a Very Flammable Christmas

Every year, we tried to burn down the whole house with our old-fashioned 1950s-style Christmas lights. Somehow, we managed not to. What heirlooms those were! Read on...

My Martini Glasses Are My Love

Some people write blog entries about when they knew they picked their spouse to be theirs forever. This is a blog entry about when my spouse found out I picked her to be mine forever. Read on...

Summer Squid Stir-Fry

This is a delicious Thai-style recipe, quick to make and fresh — based on something I learned to make when I was in Thailand! Best of all, it has step-by-step photo instructios on how to clean squid. Read on...

Santa Barbara Winery 2000 Sauvignon Blanc

In which I discover that the artifact of an old relationship has power over me... and then I drink that power away. Read on...